Possessed said:
I tried to kill myself the other night. I took 15 vics, it didn't work, for which I am somewhat thankful. I don't even know what is wrong. All I can think about is suicide. I got a promotion at work a few weeks ago, and I got a raise for it today and I'm due for another raise on October 1st, and yet no matter how well things might seem on the outside, on the inside I'm crumbling. I'm getting a lot of respect and praise at work, but people don't see that I carry a couple one shooters of tequila in my pocket and drink them in the bathrooms periodically. They don't know that I get high on all my breaks just to keep from breaking down and crying in front of everybody. Sure there's a few people that know I get high and that I drink, but with the exception of one (aforementioned) they don't know how bad it is. I'm not sure what to do.
What the fuck man? We don't need more than one of us on that path. And I mean at least I had the sense to finally stop drinking. What do you need to get you off that shit you're swilling? Do you need your buddy Trident to bitch slap some sense into you? Because game on pal. I'll do it. I mean yeah ok I figured I'd just sort of ghost this site today on a whim but man your pain made me break my promise to not come back. And it's not to insult you. That part's because you are so me it's stupid. Except I'm dealing with the consequences of being you at your age. And buddy it's not fun. It's not a pretty thing to be starting everything over after losing everything you had. Everyone you loved. Fuck I'd do anything not to have done what I did with my life. So now I'm here for you pal. I know what it's like so I'm not going easy on you. You know how this is. This is truth talking. Get that shit out of your life fast. I'll hold your hand the whole way if you want. I'll be here for you buddy like no one else. Just take the first step. That's all you have to do. The rest comes easy. That first step to get help. You've got to go outside yourself for that. The rest you just do one bit at a time. The rest you just do with your pals by your side.
Peace buddy.