I tried to kill myself the other night. I took 15 vics, it didn't work, for which I am somewhat thankful. I don't even know what is wrong. All I can think about is suicide. I got a promotion at work a few weeks ago, and I got a raise for it today and I'm due for another raise on October 1st, and yet no matter how well things might seem on the outside, on the inside I'm crumbling. I'm getting a lot of respect and praise at work, but people don't see that I carry a couple one shooters of tequila in my pocket and drink them in the bathrooms periodically. They don't know that I get high on all my breaks just to keep from breaking down and crying in front of everybody. Sure there's a few people that know I get high and that I drink, but with the exception of one (aforementioned) they don't know how bad it is. I'm not sure what to do.