"Irrational Man" (2015) written & directed by Woody Allen

Without a doubt, the worst movie Woody Allen has made in the last 10 years. I went into this absolutely cold (and completely high). All I knew was the title, it's a Woody movie and it stars Joaquin Phoenix.

I've been a Woody Allen fan since I was 12, and I've watched everything he's done. And I'm telling you right here right now, he phoned this one in. The script is just absolute garbage, with such shallow characters, and every line of dialogue is superficial and only exists to tell the audience what they need to know. For the majority of the film I kept wondering if this was an intentional troll film. Like, what if Woody made himself a bet that he could write a script in one day, then film it without any rewrites.

There's a line of dialogue early on that stayed in my mind throughout. Abe (Joaquin) is teaching his Philosophy class and says something like "Philosophy is just verbal masturbation." That's exactly what this film is, verbal masturbation.

But, it's not a complete Piece of Shite. The actors do the best they can with their roles, and the overall concept is great. But it's clear that Woody has delivered a dud.

Not his first misfire and certainly not his worst film, but man what a huge disappointment. It's a sad day when I realize that "Hot Tub Time Machine 2" had a better script than the new Woody Allen film.

** / 5