Cracked.com did a great article a while back, "The 10 Most Ridiculous Inventions Ever Patented."

My favorite is the "Apparatus for simulating a High Five."

"During a televised sporting event," the patent explains, "a 'high five' is commonly shared between fans to express the joy and excitement of a touchdown, home run, game-winning basket, birdie or other positive occurrence. Unfortunately ... a 'high five' requires the mutual hand slapping of two participants ... As such, a solitary fan is unable to perform a 'high five' to express excitement during a televised sporting event."