Leonardo said:
Trident said:
Leonardo said:
Weeping silently by myself. I have my ups and downs, like always, but each passing day is torture, and utterly, utterly meaningless. Every night I go to bed at 4am, and "wake up" at 11. I'm going slightly mad.
I don't love myself.
I can't.
Well anyone who can think kind thoughts about me is maybe a little crazy, but certainly worthy of love in return. I don't know much about you, but you seem to have a noble spirit and are not afraid to offer your friendship to a guy who doesn't really deserve it. I am honored to be your friend and think you have to be at least a little bit easier on yourself.
I mean, I don't know why you can't love yourself, but I certainly understand the feeling! I think I also know what you mean about the meaninglessness of life. I do not know why I am doing anything. I don't have a reason to live. I don't have close personal connections and I don't think I have a great expectation of the future, but in the end you might exist just to be able to share your empathy and understanding of life's pain with another during their time of need. I know you did that for me. I really want to do the same for you.
Hey thanks man. I appreciate it.
As I was writing that post in the politics thread, I realized I was saying "love yourself" and yet I myself can't seem to. It was no shock to me, but the realization made me really sad. If it wasn't almost 2AM I'd sing my heart out, like I usually do when I feel down.
Just to clarify, the meaninglessness of life doesn't bother me, I'm an atheist, and I've come to accept that. Doesn't bother me in the least.
It's what I've done with mine that makes me want to hate myself, and I should, and I do. I've wasted it. I don't live, I vegetate. I'm a lazy imbecile, who's too lazy, and too scared to move on with his life. This is why I hate myself, because I know I'm the problem, and won't do anything that will change the situation.
Well that's harsh. What can you do to break that pattern? I know all about being too scared to move on. I've drifted along in life to the point where I never got used to sticking my neck out. So now I work in a job that I hate and don't think I'll ever leave. So do you have any routine you can get on? Is there any excuse you can use to force yourself to get out and do stuff?
not afraid to offer your friendship to a guy who doesn't really deserve it.
but you do deserve friendship. From what I've read, you sound like a totally normal person. I don't know how old you are, but you'll (hopefully) eventually detach yourself from your strict upbringing, and understand you're not a bad person.
Thanks. It's hard to imagine getting from here to there right now, but thanks.