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What do you HATE about the EU? — Page 33

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ATMachine said:

Also, take it from me, kids (speaking from experience): Smoking is bad. Don't do it, OK?

But my dad tells me burning the tabacco kills the germs and turns the smoke into harmless steam ... 

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Vergere being revealed as a Sith.  Being connected to Lumiya.

Luke whimpering over having been tricked into killing Lumiya. 

“Always loved Vader’s wordless self sacrifice. Another shitty, clueless, revision like Greedo and young Anakin’s ghost. What a fucking shame.” -Simon Pegg.

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skyjedi2005 said:

Vergere being revealed as a Sith.  Being connected to Lumiya.

Ah, yes -- I read about this on Wookieepedia.

"Oh, a Jedi Knight adopts the belief that the Force has no dark or light side and passes that teaching on to another Jedi. That must mean she's secretly a Sith, and she's clearly trying to bring the Jedi Order down from the inside by corrupting its teachings!"

It reads like in-universe propaganda.

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Does the Holiday Special count as EU? If so, I'd have to say that Wookiee Pornography might be the most loathsome thing ever foisted on us.

This is doubly so when one takes into account how much that blobby disco "opera" that Palpatine and Anakin are watching (together... ALONE...) in ROTS resembles the imagery that Chewbacca's father abused himself to in the family living room on Life Day. Was that intentional? That is commonly referred to as the scene where Palpatine "seduces" Anakin, right?

Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Time for a good, cleansing shower.

"These deadly rays will be your death..."

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It's just a pretty lady singing a seductive song inside a VR hairdryer.

Forum Moderator

Where were you in '77?

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Akton said:

Does the Holiday Special count as EU?

I think all TV Star Wars stuff pre-TCW is considered EU, so yeah, I'd count it.

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SilverWook said:

It's just a pretty lady singing a seductive song inside a VR hairdryer.

 "Oh! Oh! We are excited aren't we?"

"The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural."

"These deadly rays will be your death..."

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I think we're all forgetting that Ed Norton Saun Dann was the actual provider of said porno.

Forum Moderator

Where were you in '77?

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SilverWook said:

I think we're all forgetting that Ed Norton Saun Dann was the actual provider of said porno.

 

That was the most unkind cut of all... Beloved TV neighbor Ed Norton reduced to distracting Death Star Troopers (operating way outside of their jurisdiction) with Grace Slickless Jefferson Starship holograms, and aiding elderly Wookies in commission of the act of Onanism in full view of their minor grandchildren...

 

And then there's Harvey Korman and his headhole...

"These deadly rays will be your death..."

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Some fans out there actually find this story touching:

Darth Vader bawww!. Dat feel.. HELP was . all‘ Atl' ''dral! THE PREPARE? 15' GARE tafe I til. Incl. n. I In 1 an n. this was just on the frontpage

How anyone can read this and even keep a straight face I'll never know.

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Oh my God I know lmao. Like, even in the EU Vader almost never interacted with C-3P0, and none of those times he ever was like "Wow I really love him he's like a piece of home" or whatever that comic tries to conjure up trying to make Vader a sympathetic character. Not saying he is or isn't, but using this is just trying way too hard and is tacky and ultimately makes no sense. 

Although the good thing is that story showed up in Tales I believe, stories that aren't supposed to be taken seriously. 

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The Merchant said:

Although the good thing is that story showed up in Tales I believe, stories that aren't supposed to be taken seriously. 

Unfortunately, too many Tales stories ended up being shoved into official canon after the fact, including that ridiculous story where Vader fights a resurrected Maul. I wouldn't be surprised if they did the same for this story.

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In another thread, someone suggested a prequel reboot in which the Sith Empire from SWTOR becomes the Galactic Empire. However, Star Wars (1977) implies that the Galactic Empire was once the Old Republic. That the Cult of SWTOR has convinced people to ignore dialogue from Star Wars (1977) appalles me.

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That Han says "never tell me the odds" once, and suddenly every Corellian doesn't like to hear the odds.

And is also Han Solo to some degree.

Keep Circulating the Tapes.

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(It hasn’t happened yet)

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Wait, what? Why is Bespin listed as his homeworld?

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Any drawing or painting that depicts Luke, Leia, the Solo children, or any of the Jedi of Luke's Order wearing brown desert hermit robes is an automatic fail in my eyes.

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I've been on a Star Wars audiobook kick at work lately, and I've been listening to Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy which I read years ago, and man is it some lazy writing. I hate that.

All the characters say are lines paraphrased or just pulled directly from the movies. And all the new characters are huge Mary-Sues. I've never rolled my eyes more while reading or listening to a book in my entire life. It's just lazy, hackey writing.

Keep Circulating the Tapes.

END OF LINE

(It hasn’t happened yet)

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Tyrphanax said:

I've been on a Star Wars audiobook kick at work lately, and I've been listening to Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy which I read years ago, and man is it some lazy writing. I hate that.

All the characters say are lines paraphrased or just pulled directly from the movies. And all the new characters are huge Mary-Sues. I've never rolled my eyes more while reading or listening to a book in my entire life. It's just lazy, hackey writing.

If there's one thing that the prequels did right, it's that they didn't use Zahn's consecutive vowels = clone nonsense.

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Tyrphanax said:

I've been on a Star Wars audiobook kick at work lately, and I've been listening to Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy which I read years ago, and man is it some lazy writing. I hate that.

All the characters say are lines paraphrased or just pulled directly from the movies. And all the new characters are huge Mary-Sues. I've never rolled my eyes more while reading or listening to a book in my entire life. It's just lazy, hackey writing.

Anchorhead and hairy_hen are going to eat you alive. ;-) 

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In TPM, Yoda knows about the Rule of Two, implying that the Rule of Two existed before the "extinction" of the Sith. However, the EU then said that the birth of the Rule of Two and the "extinction" of the Sith occured at the same time, creating a plot hole. The fans, in their zeal to love anything EU and hate anything prequel, convinced themselves and each other that TPM itself created this plot hole when in truth it was the EU.