Well don't worry, it was a poor joke and it won't be funny even after I explain it to you, but since I've already put it out there I won't keep you in suspense.

You said they had a 'shitty' child. Scum said he wasn't aware he was having a kid, so I said I wasn't aware I just thought he ate apples. Apples are very high in fiber, frequent and excessive consumption of apples will result in mighty bowel movements, therefor producing a big pile of shit some may mistake for a small child.

Told you it wasn't funny, you just had to ruin the mystique.