Can somebody help a guy who wants to watch the whole MCU stuff as an intro to Avengers 2?

I guess it's something like ...

Ang Lee Hulk - is it a part of the MCU or a separate movie? TIH seems to work perfectly as a sequel to Hulk 2003.

Iron Man

The Incredible Hulk

Iron Man 2

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to Thor's Hammer - it's definitely sometimes before Thor, but when?

The Consultant - when does this take place? After TIH or after one of the Iron Man movies?

Thor

Captain America - The First Avenger

Agent Carter - 8 episodes

Agent Carter - One shot

Avengers

Item 47

Iron Man 3

All Hail The King

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episodes 1-7

Thor - The Dark World

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episodes 8-15 or 16

Captain America - The Winter Soldier

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - the rest of season 1

Guardians of the Galaxy

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - season 2

Is that all? I've read that Phil Coulson is in some of the animated cartoons, are they also part of the MCU or something different?