darth_ender said:

generalfrevious said:

I never said I wanted to murder my family. I said sometimes I wish they were dead; that is not the same as wanting to kill them. I was just angry when I wrote that; I would not be an asshole enough to say say that in front of my parents' face or follow through on that threat. My family sometimes say stupid things that piss me off, but we're not dysfunctional or anything. Wishing they were dead, in hindsight, was a terrible thing to say, even though my feelings act otherwise.

As I started this thread, I usually try to contribute to everyone's distress to at least some extent. However, I must admit that you are so negative that I am at a loss for what to say. You really have such a pessimistic outlook on life and anything you disagree with that they only advice I can offer, and I say this without any insult intended, is that you need professional help. You may need counseling to address such a negative outlook on life and to learn better coping skills with your situations. We all face challenges, many far worse than yours. But people learn how to cope with and overcome them. You seem to prefer to wallow in misery and share that misery with others when you could take the bull by the horns and solve your issues on your own. If you need help, there is no shame in getting it professionally. I don't mean to be rude, but sometimes people need a slap in the face to change their thought processes.

I can only echo what Ender just said. It really sounds to me like you are in the same place I was in and I and everyone else for years kept thinking I would get over it and learn to cope on my own and in my case it led to disaster. Please at least consider getting some help before something bad happen. I am not saying you are a bad person just that just because nothing has happened yet it does not mean nothing will happen if you keep going down this path. Please consider getting help for your problems.

I will be praying for you.