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The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 3

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HotRod said:

Shit, this place makes me feel....either great about my life, or just fucking depressed...

 HotRod, please read the first couple of posts of this thread and follow the thread ground rules.  This is a serious thread, and not a thread for joking around. 

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moviefreakedmind said:

I have absolutely no self esteem. I always assume that everyone is thinking negative things about me, and find it impossible to initiate anything with the opposite sex because I think that if I talk to them they'll think I'm creepy and weird. I'm at an age where all of my friends have relationships headed straight towards marriage, and as much as I would like to have that, I doubt I ever will.

I surprisingly have great friends though, and love being around them, although when I actually stop and think about it I really have no idea why any of them would want to associate with me. I have started to slowly recognize that all of these things that I think probably are completely irrational and not true, but still have no confidence and fear that I never will.

 I would recommend 3 things:

1) Find a social group with members of the opposite sex and join it.

2) Do not worry too much about your peer group as such a construct is artificial. 

3) Do some research on the topic of temperaments. It does not really matter which system you use: simply understanding the psychological undertones of yourself and those around you will increase your own insight into situations that might otherwise have proven confusing. This alone should increase self-assurance and decrease anxiety. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temperament

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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Warbler said:

HotRod said:

Shit, this place makes me feel....either great about my life, or just fucking depressed...

 HotRod, please read the first couple of posts of this thread and follow the thread ground rules.  This is a serious thread, and not a thread for joking around. 

 Good luck with that suggestion.

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 (Edited)

When I look back on who I was back in late 2003-2004, I can't help but feel down.

I may have had less taste back then, been stupider and more conceited/legalistic, but I used to believe in something back then; I had belief in a loving God who cared about me; I had a firm moral code on which to base my life upon; I had optimism for the future.

Now I have absolutely nothing to believe in -- nothing but doubt and fear and anger.

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I have been where you are and truth be told sometimes I fall back into that.

I will be praying that you find your way back to God at some point.

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Warbler said:

HotRod said:

Shit, this place makes me feel....either great about my life, or just fucking depressed...

 HotRod, please read the first couple of posts of this thread and follow the thread ground rules.  This is a serious thread, and not a thread for joking around. 

 Who's joking?

http://www.facebook.com/DirtyWookie

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Yeah to be 100% fair I didn't read that as a joke, just a grim observation.

Still given the purpose of this thread I think it is best that we all just drop it and let this thread get back on topic.

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DuracellEnergizer said:

When I look back on who I was back in late 2003-2004, I can't help but feel down.

I may have had less taste back then, been stupider and more conceited/legalistic, but I used to believe in something back then; I had belief in a loving God who cared about me; I had a firm moral code on which to base my life upon; I had optimism for the future.

Now I have absolutely nothing to believe in -- nothing but doubt and fear and anger.

 With ignorance comes a lack of perspective that will often allow for a greater inner peace; wisdom yields more of the excruciating types of pain.

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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Post Praetorian said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

When I look back on who I was back in late 2003-2004, I can't help but feel down.

I may have had less taste back then, been stupider and more conceited/legalistic, but I used to believe in something back then; I had belief in a loving God who cared about me; I had a firm moral code on which to base my life upon; I had optimism for the future.

Now I have absolutely nothing to believe in -- nothing but doubt and fear and anger.

 With ignorance comes a lack of perspective that will often allow for a greater inner peace; wisdom yields more of the excruciating types of pain.

 I have also felt this. It sucks.

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Handman said:

Post Praetorian said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

When I look back on who I was back in late 2003-2004, I can't help but feel down.

I may have had less taste back then, been stupider and more conceited/legalistic, but I used to believe in something back then; I had belief in a loving God who cared about me; I had a firm moral code on which to base my life upon; I had optimism for the future.

Now I have absolutely nothing to believe in -- nothing but doubt and fear and anger.

 With ignorance comes a lack of perspective that will often allow for a greater inner peace; wisdom yields more of the excruciating types of pain.

 I have also felt this. It sucks.

 Well, I feel this may fit better in the philosophy or religion thread, but I lately have come to see religion as a parallel with art. There are varying styles, but all can be appreciated for their beauty.  Who is to say that because post-impressionism and romanticism reflect different emphases and perspectives on the real world that one is more correct than another? I believe among the most beautiful of human experiences is immersion in a religion that gives perspective not found in so-called reality. Just because science and religion do not always mesh, it does not mean one has a cornered market on all that is true.

How does this fit in this thread? Duracell, find something that gives you meaning and purpose and happiness, something greater than yourself, and appreciate the beauty of it. Don't allow detractors to tell you it is untrue. Decide for yourself and be happy.

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My mom's folster sister, my aunt Porn just got rushed to the hospital.  She is in her mid fifties and had breast cancer and didn't tell anyone.  She is not expected to make it through the night.  She has always been a kind person and we used to have really good chinese food and her resturant when I was a kid. I pretty much grew up with her daughter always being around, who is the same age as me. 

We just got the call, and this is completely out of the blue and we had no idea.  Please pray for my family.

Five minutes ago our biggest concern was getting enough to eat, now out of the blue a member of our family is dying, please pray.

I am sorry I know there are typeos in this post but I am too upset to look up the correct spelling.  Thank you for your support.

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My aunt made it out of surgery so her chances are better but they are still not that good, still they are better so that is good news, thanks for your support.

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DrCrowTStarwars said:

Please pray for my family.

 I will.

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DrCrowTStarwars said:

My aunt made it out of surgery so her chances are better but they are still not that good, still they are better so that is good news, thanks for your support.

 Glad to hear there is at least hope

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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Please continue to pray for my aunt and her family.  She has not gotten worse but she has not gotten any better and she has yet to wake up.  They have found the source of the infection and it is in her lungs.  So she now has that in addition to the breast cancer.

As I said her daughter and I grew up together and she spent a lot of time at my house when she was younger while her mother was working so this is hitting us all really hard.

Pray for my uncle too because his wife is now in the same hospital where his father and brother died so this is really hard on him, thank you all for your support.

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This doesn't really fall under the category of emotional support, but I don't know where else I should post it and it doesn't warrant the creation of a topic on it's own.  I would just like youz guyz opinion on if I'm doing the right thing here or not.

I had this childhood bestfriend, a very beautiful girl.  We grew up together and we were super close.  Inevitably (if you ask me anyway) at a certain age we became romantically involved.  That ended up not working out.  There wasn't any kind of bad event or hatred involved in the ending of it, it just kinda fizzled out.  We stopped talking and we don't see each other any more. This was about 6 years ago.

We still live in the same town and we see each other quite often at certain events.  For the entire 6 years we haven't been talking, she's made it very obvious that she is not happy with this arrangement, she wants to be friends.  I do not.  I do not dislike her at all, I just don't think it's a good idea for us to talk anymore.  It's not that I still feel anything for her, or that I think she does for me, it just doesn't sound appealing.

I can understand her wanting to stay friends.  After all, we grew up together.  It seems to mean a lot to her, there's definitely a sentimental attachment and bond we'll always have, but I'm perfectly content to let it rot away, and I think that's best, but sometimes I wonder if this is really fair to her.


She's married now, and she still wants us to be friends.  I don't tell her no, but I just avoid her and I'm sure it's obvious that I avoid her.  There is no chance of anything inappropriate happening, it'd just be childhood best friends reuniting, and I know that she would love it if I spent time with her and talked to her, I just... I dunno I really just don't want to.  It's not so much that I think it's wrong, but I still really don't want to.  But I'm not sure if this is fair to her.

 Bunny.

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^There's little chance of the bunny making an appearance if your whole post can fit on my screen at once without me zooming out.

Now, I don't know that my advice is the best, being that I am sorely lacking in experience, but I'm unsure why you intentionally avoid her if you don't think anything will happen as a result of it. However, I will leave proper advice to those who are better able to give it.

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DrCrowTStarwars said:

Please continue to pray for my aunt and her family.  She has not gotten worse but she has not gotten any better and she has yet to wake up.  They have found the source of the infection and it is in her lungs.  So she now has that in addition to the breast cancer.

As I said her daughter and I grew up together and she spent a lot of time at my house when she was younger while her mother was working so this is hitting us all really hard.

Pray for my uncle too because his wife is now in the same hospital where his father and brother died so this is really hard on him, thank you all for your support.

 Haven't had much time, but I'll keep them in my thoughts and prayers.  Working in the medical field, I've come to have a greater appreciation for life and of just how easily and quickly it can end.  If your aunt passes, I am sorry, but also know, as you and I believe in a life after this, that God is watchful over all of us, and that if she passes, she will find herself in a happier state, pitying us struggling to make it through this mortal world.  Hang in there.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

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Possessed said:

This doesn't really fall under the category of emotional support, but I don't know where else I should post it and it doesn't warrant the creation of a topic on it's own.  I would just like youz guyz opinion on if I'm doing the right thing here or not.

I had this childhood bestfriend, a very beautiful girl.  We grew up together and we were super close.  Inevitably (if you ask me anyway) at a certain age we became romantically involved.  That ended up not working out.  There wasn't any kind of bad event or hatred involved in the ending of it, it just kinda fizzled out.  We stopped talking and we don't see each other any more. This was about 6 years ago.

We still live in the same town and we see each other quite often at certain events.  For the entire 6 years we haven't been talking, she's made it very obvious that she is not happy with this arrangement, she wants to be friends.  I do not.  I do not dislike her at all, I just don't think it's a good idea for us to talk anymore.  It's not that I still feel anything for her, or that I think she does for me, it just doesn't sound appealing.

I can understand her wanting to stay friends.  After all, we grew up together.  It seems to mean a lot to her, there's definitely a sentimental attachment and bond we'll always have, but I'm perfectly content to let it rot away, and I think that's best, but sometimes I wonder if this is really fair to her.


She's married now, and she still wants us to be friends.  I don't tell her no, but I just avoid her and I'm sure it's obvious that I avoid her.  There is no chance of anything inappropriate happening, it'd just be childhood best friends reuniting, and I know that she would love it if I spent time with her and talked to her, I just... I dunno I really just don't want to.  It's not so much that I think it's wrong, but I still really don't want to.  But I'm not sure if this is fair to her.

 Bunny.

 I can understand your feelings.  I have a former friend who sort of is in a similar situation.  We are both married, but she had for a time continuously tried to pursue a friendship that had for all intents and purposes come to an end.  I personally feel that when marriage comes into the picture, old friendships with the opposite sex should not necessarily completely go away, but should be maintained at a greater distance.  I may have different reasons, but I agree that you are okay keeping things distant.

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darth_ender said:

DrCrowTStarwars said:

Please continue to pray for my aunt and her family.  She has not gotten worse but she has not gotten any better and she has yet to wake up.  They have found the source of the infection and it is in her lungs.  So she now has that in addition to the breast cancer.

As I said her daughter and I grew up together and she spent a lot of time at my house when she was younger while her mother was working so this is hitting us all really hard.

Pray for my uncle too because his wife is now in the same hospital where his father and brother died so this is really hard on him, thank you all for your support.

 Haven't had much time, but I'll keep them in my thoughts and prayers.  Working in the medical field, I've come to have a greater appreciation for life and of just how easily and quickly it can end.  If your aunt passes, I am sorry, but also know, as you and I believe in a life after this, that God is watchful over all of us, and that if she passes, she will find herself in a happier state, pitying us struggling to make it through this mortal world.  Hang in there.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

 Thanks a lot.

My Aunt got much worse over night and the doctors are now not sure how much longer she has.  To make matters worse for my mom because of my dad's weakened emune system because of his heart transplant she can't even go into the Hospital room to see my aunt because she can't risk bringing the air born infection that is in my Aunts lungs back home with her, so this is very hard on my mom, please pray for her as well.

Thank you all for your prayers and support, this is a very hard time for my family.

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Possessed said:

This doesn't really fall under the category of emotional support, but I don't know where else I should post it and it doesn't warrant the creation of a topic on it's own.  I would just like youz guyz opinion on if I'm doing the right thing here or not.

I had this childhood bestfriend, a very beautiful girl.  We grew up together and we were super close.  Inevitably (if you ask me anyway) at a certain age we became romantically involved.  That ended up not working out.  There wasn't any kind of bad event or hatred involved in the ending of it, it just kinda fizzled out.  We stopped talking and we don't see each other any more. This was about 6 years ago.

We still live in the same town and we see each other quite often at certain events.  For the entire 6 years we haven't been talking, she's made it very obvious that she is not happy with this arrangement, she wants to be friends.  I do not.  I do not dislike her at all, I just don't think it's a good idea for us to talk anymore.  It's not that I still feel anything for her, or that I think she does for me, it just doesn't sound appealing.

I can understand her wanting to stay friends.  After all, we grew up together.  It seems to mean a lot to her, there's definitely a sentimental attachment and bond we'll always have, but I'm perfectly content to let it rot away, and I think that's best, but sometimes I wonder if this is really fair to her.


She's married now, and she still wants us to be friends.  I don't tell her no, but I just avoid her and I'm sure it's obvious that I avoid her.  There is no chance of anything inappropriate happening, it'd just be childhood best friends reuniting, and I know that she would love it if I spent time with her and talked to her, I just... I dunno I really just don't want to.  It's not so much that I think it's wrong, but I still really don't want to.  But I'm not sure if this is fair to her.

 Bunny.

 I would suggest you maintain your distance. Your instincts are correct in this regard as there is little good that might come of even a platonic relationship at this stage--particularly from the point of view of her husband...

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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 (Edited)

Thank you folks for your input.  I believe I will keep my distance.  It's actually not her husband at all, he's a pretty laid back and cool guy, very understanding.  He wouldn't have a problem with her talking to her childhood best friend.  Honestly it's mostly because she gets on my nerves.   She's got that bubble gum stupid teenager attitude, which was cute when she was 16 but now it's just irritating.
Really I could see myself being friends with her husband, but I think that would just hurt her feelings...

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Possessed said:

He wouldn't have a problem with her talking to her childhood best friend.  Honestly it's mostly because she gets on my nerves.   She's got that bubble gum stupid teenager attitude, which was cute when she was 16 but now it's just irritating.

At first I thought you were being kind of a putz, but with this information, everything falls into perfect perspective.

There really should be a law making it mandatory for everyone past the age of 22 to act like adults.

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Aye! It just makes me not ever want to interact with her.

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 (Edited)

I was in town today, and I think I saw the Girl Whom I Loved from high school today for the first time in years. I avoided looking directly at her so as to avoid catching her attention, so I'm not 100% positive it was her, but the resemblance certainly was strong; if it was her, she's still as beautiful now as she was when she was seventeen.

Anyway, moving on with the story, she had two little girls with her -- the oldest probably being no older than five. If those girls are hers, it means she's probably settled down with someone and started a family. I, on the other hand, am unemployed, overweight, going bald, and stuck living in a pig sty with a family I can't stand to be around.

TL;DR: teenage unrequited love is a bitch -- especially when you still haven't quite gotten over it -- and seeing the girl of your dreams for the first time in a long time with the children you wanted to be the father of doesn't make it any easier.

To end this on a somewhat lighter note, I did buy me a small bottle of Southern Comfort following the experience. Now I'm going to down half the contents of the bottle and catapult myself into a daze of drunken elation while listening to the Stone Temple Pilots.