Though I sympathize with your plight, I have more selfish reasons to suggest you stay your hand: for with whom might I properly spar if you should take an early pass on to oblivion?

However, should you choose to ignore this appeal, the best means of dispatching one's self without suspicion might be to consider an accidental drowning. Such an occurrence generally must correspond with weather suitable for the excursion so this likely means putting off the ordeal until summer.

Consider, however, that now that both the motive and means of your potential demise have been made public it is entirely possible that a future investigator might be thoughtful enough to check your online behavior and to necessarily assume any such coincidences to be of great interest.

In the meantime, visit your local food-bank...they should take care of you for now.

Regards,

Praetorian