Works for me! I was thinking Grevious' eyes in the closeups were at odds with him being a total robot, and not a cyborg, but then again he wants Obi Wan's skin. :P
I never noticed the clone at :26 that just smacks a battle droid upside his head who's already dying. That has got to be against the rules. ;)
When Obi Wan changes the recall signal in the Jedi Temple into a warning to stay away, it could be a musical gag...
Can't think of a song that says "come home, everything's fine" though.