FOR THE SINGLE (or widowed or divorced) OTers — Page 2

Thanks to Frink for linking me to this.  It was a bit surreal to read this as I have no memory of ever having engaged in this discussion.  It was surreal and a bit fascinating.  I certainly remember those plans.  I don't remember ever talking to financial aid about what being married would do to my ability to have college paid for me.

Wow.  What it was like to be young and in love.  ^_^

So, wow.  Pretty much exactly nine years since I posted in this thread.  I'm just shy of 29 now, and that relationship ended when I was just shy of 23.  We were still talking about getting married.  She landed an internship at Disney World.  She left for Florida the day before Obama was inaugurated.  Three weeks later, she stopped returning my calls.  A few days later she did... to break up with me. I later found out she'd met someone she worked with and married him two months later.  They have a kid now.  When the years passed, and we became halfway civil, she sent me a picture.  He looks cute.  The kid, that is, not the guy she left me for.

I was devastated at the time.  It sounds pathetic, but it literally took me years to get over that.  I suffered from extremely severe depression that I now, thankfully, have under control.  It really felt like my life had ended.  But looking back on it now, after nearly six years, it feels like that's when my adult life really began.  I've figured out so much more about myself and become much more comfortable and sure of who I am.  And what's funny about reading the above posts is just how much my priorities and ideologies have changed.  Nowadays, I really wish I had spent my time in college actually living it.  I wish I had focused more on those opportunities, cultivating those friendships, improving myself.  Instead, I focused on a long-distance relationship that ultimately crashed and burned.  Don't get me wrong.  I have very fond memories from that relationship... memories that I am finally able to look back on fondly rather than with pain.  And while I've dated and been in relationships since then, I admit that I've never again loved as deeply and as freely as I did then.  But I've recently started dating someone new, so who knows?  Maybe that won't always be the case.

So to answer the question:  No, we didn't get married.  Well, she did... just not to me.  ;-)

EDIT:  Haha, looking through this thread, my fate seems rather similar to Invader Jenny's:

Invader Jenny said:

I really, really want to get married, but Mr. Right just hasn't shown up yet. I thought that the last man I dated and was in love with was really going to be the one, but he decided he was going to leave me and marry someone else...and not tell me.

Thank you Gaffer, that clears up one mystery...at least for now...may the future treat you more kindly than the past...and please stop by again within the next 10 years to provide another update... ;-)

when i saw that i would have been just barely 17 when this thread was created i thought "oh CHRIST please tell me i didn't post in this thread". luckily i didn't

Gaffer Tape said:

Right now, it's college and money (or lack thereof) keeping us from getting married. Beyond that, I feel that I'm ready for marriage, as naive as that may sound, but I really do believe it. And I really do believe that she is the one. As far as it actually happening... I'm not sure when yet. Once the opportunity presents itself, I suppose.

Gaffer Tape said:

 We were still talking about getting married.  She landed an internship at Disney World.  She left for Florida the day before Obama was inaugurated.  Three weeks later, she stopped returning my calls.  A few days later she did... to break up with me. I later found out she'd met someone she worked with and married him two months later.  They have a kid now.  When the years passed, and we became halfway civil, she sent me a picture.  He looks cute.  The kid, that is, not the guy she left me for.

 What an interesting contrast, 9 years between both worlds... It makes me wonder about my situation which was similar (I'm 30, had a girlfriend for a while when I was 21, ready to get married, she left me for my ''best'' friend a month after Obama took office, depression for a long time, reborn, etc). I've been dating for 2+ years now and marriage/kids is waaaaay down the ''to do'' list, right after ''dropping dead'' hehe.

It's amazing how we do change a lot over the years, I'm not even remotely the same person I was 9 years ago in any aspect :p

Don't feel bad. I wish society wouldn't push so much on us the idea the we ought to have somebody. What if we don't want to?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUgQPzq6ifc

And if you really wish to have someone in your life, stop making excuses, go out there and talk to people. There's really no excuses, blindness, missing limbs, general awkwardness...

Unless you're the kinda guy who only asks girls to help him get a couch in his van cause his arm is in a cast, there's a woman or a man for you out there Warbler.

Yes, "Be fruitful and multiply" being one of them.

Warbler said:

I don't know, I think maybe God doesn't want me to be with someone.  Also, I am just too shy.  I've never been able to talk to a woman in that way.  The one time I did find the courage to tell a woman how I felt about her, it ended in disaster.  I am not going to tell to the story here, but trust me it was a disaster.  After that, I don't think I'll ever be able to tell another woman how I feel about her.   Maybe it is a sign that there isn't someone out there for me.  

 ...and yet somewhere in this world likely exists a girl who would be overjoyed to make your acquaintance, but she cannot find you because she is not currently canvassing your neighborhood...very frustrating for the both of you...perhaps you need to be more present in the world so that she might better locate you..?

Although we would mark your absence...