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Last movie seen — Page 282

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The Sport Parade: Snow Thrills (1945) - 6/10

It Conquered the World (1956) - 4/10

Robot Monster (1953) - 5/10 (1/5 for quality, 4/5 for enjoyability)

The Undead (1957) - 5/10

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) - 7/10

James and the Giant Peach (1996) - 7/10

Beetlejuice (1989) - 6.5/10

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Gremlins 2: The New Batch - While it may not be as well written as the first film (it does ultimately amount to just the Gremlins wreaking havoc while the human characters run around), I might slightly prefer this one, mostly because of its humor and characters. Gotta love the Brain Gremlin.

7.9 out of 10 Hulk Hogan shirt tearings.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind - Eh, it's alright. I'm not all that familiar with Studio Ghibli's / Miyazaki's works aside from My Neighbor Totoro, but this felt a little underwhelming. Story was boring and the characters were not that interesting. It does have giant bugs though. That's somethin'.

6.1 out of 10 flying ships.

Labyrinth - David Bowie's junk. Some catchy songs and an explosion of creativity make this quite enjoyable, even if the story is really straightforward and some of its effects have aged quite miserably. 

6.4 out of 10 Escher staircases.

Hulk (2003) - It's the Hulk film we all wanted: overlong and uneffective 'people with daddy issues' drama, Hulk fighting a mutant poodle, a one-dimensional main character and experimental stylistic choices that do nothing aside from distracting you (no, it does not feel like you're reading a comic book...c'mon). 

3.3 out of 10 mutant dogs.

John Wick - Keanu Reeves shoots mobsters in the face. Pretty great. An otherwise straightforward revenge film elevated by its stylish direction and suspenseful action scenes.

7.7 out of 10 headshots.

Predestination (2014)  Oh, now this was interesting. It's actually quite flawed scriptwise (some things simply don't make sense and the film's structure is weird), but it's very intriguing and captivating stuff, mostly thanks to Sarah Snook's amazing performance and the great direction. Definitely check this out when you get the chance.

7.5 out of 10 Ethan Hawke mustaches.

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Taken (2009)

A visceral action packed thrill. The Extended cut anyway, the theatrical neutered version lost a lot of its punch in the name of a PG-13 rating.

Taken 2 (2012)

An interesting twist on the first film's premise.

Taken 3 (2015)

An over the top generic cartoon. Worst possible way to end the series.

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Knowing Hollywood, there will be a Taken 4. They never know when to stop. I still fully expect a Die Hard sequel set on the moon. ;)

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Where were you in '77?

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TV's Frink said:

Taken Harder.

 Sorry that tittle is already being used by the bondage porn spoof.

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Heavy Metal (1981)

For the quality of the animation and the "B-17" story, I rate this 7/10. Lord knows nothing else from the film warrants such a rating -- especially not that dumbshit story with the aliens snorting space coke.

Frankenweenie (1984) - 6.5/10

Frankenweenie (2012)

It's funny. While I dislike or am indifferent to most of Burton's live-action films -- Batman '89 being the only real exception, and even it has serious issues -- I've found his stop-motion films enjoyable. I don't know why that is -- perhaps his idiosyncrasies just work better in stop-motion than live-action for me.

Anyway, needless to say, I enjoyed this film -- I especially like that the science teacher was patterned to look like Vincent Price. I think the ending feel a bit flat though. IMO, the dog

!!!SPOILERS!!!

should have stayed dead at the end of the movie; it would have made for a stronger, more poignant ending.

8.4/10

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) - 4/10

Star Wreck (1992) - 5.9/10

Star Wreck II: The Old Shit (1994) - 6.9/10

Star Wreck III: The Wrath of the Romuclans (1994) - 5.7/10

Star Wreck IV: The Kilpailu (1996) - 5.7/10

Star Wreck: Lost Contact (1997) - 5/10

Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning (2005) - 8/10

The Haunted Mansion (2003)

The unlikable kids and the saccharine ending do their best to ruin this movie, but Terence Stamp's performance and Rick Baker's zombie effects manage to save it -- barely.

That stupid scene where Stamp gets dragged down into Hell in ludicrous, over-the-top-of-the-top fashion will continue to haunt my nightmares, though.

6/10

The Fugitive (1993) - 7.4/10

Dead of Winter (1987)

Look "meh" up in the thesaurus, and you'll find the title of this movie listed as a synonym.

6/10

Darkness/Light/Darkness (1989) - 8/10

The Last Trick (1964) - 8/10

Historia Naturae, Suita (1967) - 8.5/10

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It's not coke, it's Plutonium Nyborg thank you very much. ;)

The hallucination scene with a wrecked U.S.S Enterprise flying past is one of my favorite shots. I spin the song soundtrack once in a while, and the Elmer Bernstein score is one of my faves.

If you like the movie at all, you have to see the South Park version. If the HM sequel wasn't dead in the water, I think they should be the ones to make it...

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Where were you in '77?

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DuracellEnergizer said:

It's funny. While I dislike or am indifferent to most of Burton's live-action films -- Batman '89 being the only real exception

 

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Tobar said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

It's funny. While I dislike or am indifferent to most of Burton's live-action films -- Batman '89 being the only real exception

 

You can rest easy with the knowledge that that isn't one of the Burton films I've seen. 

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You need to remedy this immediately.

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WNUF Halloween Special (2013)

I wouldn't call this a film, but more of a window into the past. I normally hate found footage films, but something about this was quite excellent. While I don't think it was scary in the slightest, or even all that funny, I think the way it was compiled, was great.

I have never seen something so authentic. For a second, I wanted to judge the acting, but then I realized that the acting was spot on. Where else can you hear dialogue delivered as fake as on any local news network?

The film basically plays as if somebody in 1988 pressed record on their VCR and left to either sleep or go somewhere else like so many of us used to do before the days of DVR. Some of the repeated commercials are fast forwarded through.

My appreciation of this "film" is completely nostalgia based. I don't even know if you could call it a film.

For once, we have something in the found footage genre that actually feels like it was found. The look, the sounds, the costumes, and everything else all felt truly authentic.

I can't praise it, or knock it. I don't even know if I can recommend it, unless you are feeling nostalgic or in a sentimental mood. No rating from me.

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

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EyeShotFirst said:

I can't praise it, or knock it. I don't even know if I can recommend it, unless you are feeling nostalgic or in a sentimental mood. No rating from me.

You must be Swiss. ;-) 

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TV's Frink said:

THAT'S NOT A FILM

 

What? WHAT?!?!

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Not terribly original but i liked it anyway Oblivion. 3 out of 5 stars.

I know it goes against the critics rating it rotten.

November man absolutely terrible. 1 and a half stars.

Pierce's character is entirely unlikable and Olga Kurylenko character could have easily been cut and pasted out of Quantum of Solace.  Only that was a much better film.

“Always loved Vader’s wordless self sacrifice. Another shitty, clueless, revision like Greedo and young Anakin’s ghost. What a fucking shame.” -Simon Pegg.

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I've watched 5 films from director Michael Winner and actor Charles Bronson

(1972) Chato's Land

Charles Bronson in a Western, count me in. This film is packed with excellent actors, great locations, and great performances. The only issue I really had with the film was it's length. This film sort of goes into the wicked relentless white man after the (insert minority here) category that was quite popular after the civil rights movement. This movie does make you care, but it also goes for the cheap drama. Michael Winner doesn't like for Charles Bronson to have a nice quiet family life in any film they make together. If Charles Bronson has a family member in a Michael Winner movie, they are going to get raped, killed, or a combination of both. I enjoyed watching this, solely for my love of Charles Bronson. I would recommend it to fans of the revisionist Western film. It has touches of Peckinpah.

(1972) The Mechanic

I enjoyed this quite a bit. This is the only film from the pair that didn't feature a rape sequence. It reminded me a lot of Leon The Professional. There was a lot of tension in this film. It's probably the most subdued of the Winner/Bronson collaborations. All around enjoyable film, much like the very similar Death Wish. I never watched the remake, so I cannot comment on the similarities therein. I will say, good luck getting me to watch a Jason Statham movie.

(1974) Death Wish

This film is much like so many other franchise starters, in the fact that it was a good movie, followed by not-so-good movies. This was a great film and it had an excellent look to it. Bronson isn't a bad ass in this film, and it's nice to see. Little moments like him having a breakdown after his first kill, really brought out the human side of the character. The transition from pacifist architect to vigilante is excellent.

(1982) Death Wish II

This film isn't as cartoony as the later entries, but this started the "same shit, different city" formula of the later films. This movie boasts not 1, not 2, but THREE rape scenes. It also has 1980's written all over it. Guitar and Synth heavy soundtrack brought to you buy Jimmy Page himself. It also has more guns, shit blowing up, and people dying. It still has some heart in places, you still feel that Kersey is just a man who has taken too much for too long. I would recommend it only if you want more Death Wish.

(1985) Death Wish 3

This film already pissed me off for not conforming to the roman-numeral titling system of the previous entry. This one feels more like an HBO film. Just schlock, vulgarity, and not one damn given. Bigger guns and goofier gang members. It also was too lazy to actually film in New York, instead a small English town is supposed to pass for NYC. I actually had to watch this little by little, as I just didn't care. It feels like The Three Stooges, Home Alone, and Die Hard were thrown in a big pot. I don't know whether it wants to be taken seriously or if Michael Winner placed his tongue directly in his cheek. The gang is also very unbelievable. A gang leader should have an air of "Don't mess with this guy" about him. Instead, he looks out of place.

People could argue that he might be manipulative like Charlie Manson, but you don't really see any of that. The gangs in the previous films all sort of seemed to just do what they wanted to do, and didn't have a set leader. You also don't relate to Bronson's character in this film. He goes from being a guy, any of us could be, to being an unflinching badass. He walks from scene to scene without any tension what so ever, as people around him are spitting blood and blowing up. Characters are killed left and right without any attention brought to them. Jimmy Page is just rocking out, instead of putting in a little "Somebody important died" music. It's just a careless mess, and it feels more like a shitty war movie than the midnight vigilante film from the previous entries. I wouldn't recommend this to anybody. It also has a trope that I've noticed in a lot of older films in having to have marching music in the background when military weapons are revealed. Why did they get Jimmy Page?

So in reviewing these films I've learned one thing; it ain't a Michael Winner film, if somebody didn't get raped.

I still maintain that Charles Bronson, though concreted in popular culture as a bad ass, was a fine actor. He reminds me of actors like Warren Oates who were so natural, you didn't realize how great they actually were.

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

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Death Wish is one of those movies that I liked enough not to want to tarnish my opinion of it by watching its sequels.

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They actually don't ruin the first one. They are so different, they don't feel connected. It's like some of the crappier Bond films don't ruin the good ones. The tone is too different.

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

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Black Sea (2015)

Pretty good film. Though the actions of some of the crew were just ridiculously stupid.

Thinking about the film now, I think it was probably heavily inspired by The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

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