Possessed said:
I don't even know where my mom lives and whether or not she cares about me is highly debatable,
Same here. My mom wanted a baby, my dad didn't. She stopped taking the pill without telling him. Then I came, my dad was happy, she was not. Six years later they got a divorce and my dad and me moved away. I can't remember seeing her for the next few years. Later I came to foster parents, because my father had to work horrible shifts and wasn't able to care for me. In those two years I saw her every second weekend. Her boyfriend back then showed me Star Wars for the first time on VHS. This is, besides giving birth, the only thing I appreciate of her.
My dad married again and I moved in with his new family. About 8 years later, when I was doing my military service, I recieved a letter from my mother. It took me one week to open it. She wrote that she wanted to have contact with me again. It took another week until I wrote back. First we wrote letters, later we called each other, I even visited her twice. The second time I visited her, she invited her mother who hadn't seen me in 15 years. A few months later my mom's mother died. All I could say was: "I'm sorry." I mean, I barely knew that woman and this was the first "familiy"-loss, I had to deal with.
I can't remember if it was before or after my grandmother's death when my mom called me to tell me she had married again. I was stunned. I was okay with the fact that she married again, I was not okay that she didn't tell me before.
And then she called to tell me she would go an a vacation and would call, when she's back. That was 12 years ago. I don't know where she lives, I don't even know her current name. And I don't care. The only thing I'm afraid of is that she dies and I have to pay for the funeral.
So, wholeheartedly...
FUCK YOU, MOM, wherever you are.