xhonzi said:
There are a lot of problems that must be solved by people that aren't in the wrong. Saying that the solution to a problem is within the grasp of a particular party is not the same as saying they are to blame.
The problem is that wrongdoers often have no interest in fixing/preventing the problems they cause. You can try to incentivize them to a point, but they're already breaking the rules (going against incentives that work for the rest of us) by being wrongdoers in the first place.
So, though they have done no wrong, the solution must come from the innocent, or there will come no solution at all.
As has been said, you can and should try to stop bullying. However that will never stop bullying. To really solve the problem, you must teach the bullied not to allow it to happen.
Stop the victim mentality. It generally creates more problems than it solves. Does it solve any, really?
Also- all of the focus on bullying over the past decade, I think, has emboldened bullies. It's very strong feedback that their tactics are working. It's like feeding a troll.
Yes well said.
One of the things I learned all on my own when I was a kid is that if I stopped paying attention to what bullies said when they hade fun of me they would give up and leave me alone. One of the things that bugs me is I now see ads on tv telling kids that their lives are ruined if they are called names, how does telling kids to let bullies have this kind of power help the victims again? Any way back to my main point for bullies name calling is only fun if they get a reaction from you, so as a kid I learned that if you don't care what they think it is no fun for them and they will leave you alone.\
As for the other type of bullying, well depending on the bully I found that either avoiding them or standing up to them was the best thing to do. When I did stand up to them even if I lost the fight every time they would go and look for easier prey.
Oh and another aside to show that it isn't the end of the world and kids can grow up. When I was a kid there was a bully who really upset me and one time he punched my brother so hard he split his lips. We had a big fight after that and I didn't talk to him for year/ Now that we are adults and have grown up and seen that it was really petty we are friends. Bullying is only the end of the world if you let it be.
We should be teaching kids not to let bullies have the power and define them for the rest of their lives. That is how you stop bullying.