My favorite comedians:

George Carlin. Probably my favorite special of his was his last, "It's Bad For Ya."
"Bullshit is the glue that holds this nation together..."

Louis CK. Anything he does is brilliant.
"Schindler's List"

Mitch Hedberg. He's mainly a 1-to-3 sentence joke kinda guy, and YouTube clips won't impress you much, but here's some of the ones I love the most:

- I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

- I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

- Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.

- I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

- I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Patton Oswalt. His George Lucas bit is legendary.

And Bill Hicks, Robin Williams and Richard Pryor were all icons.