Just over a week ago I got out of a stay from a mental hospital for a suicide attempt that was brought on by depression because I can't function in the real world or hold down a job without meds. The doctor's there and my own shrink proscribed some meds that really helped and for the first time in a long time I had some hope in my life. Well now that has been yanked away.

Medicaid rejected all of my prescriptions for my problems including depression and they will not even let the pharmacy fill them,and my family can't afford them any other way.

So i am back sitting at home,unable to keep a single thought straight,a 29 year old burden to my family,and without any hope. Just getting more and more dapressed as I am able to do less and less with my life because I was born with a stupid brain that doesn't work right. Half the time when I try to read I can't tell what the words are saying and it takes forever to type anything out and I keep flipping out on people when I don't want to. I am really afraid that I am going to end up on the street or in a metal hospital for the rest of my life because my dad only keeps me around because of my mom,he really thinks I should just pull things together and I keep trying but it's not working and I am costing my family money that they don't have.

I really wish I had been aborted,everyone would be much better off if I had never been born.

I just can't take being useless lump any more.