Harmy, your part is excellent, however a bit long. I think the audio works well at that length; I suggest cutting to other video one or more times while you're talking, which may break things up a bit and depending on content, provide more visual information.
If I lived closer I'd shoot some B roll of you walking down the sidewalk and you could rotoscope a lightsaber (color of your choosing)...
Barring that, an over-the-shoulder shot of you editing would be excellent. ;)