It's very fortunate that John Boorman made Excalibur instead of his earlier project: a one-film adaptation of Lord of the Rings so bad its plot has to be read to be believed.

The four hobbits get high on mushrooms during their journey to Rivendell.

Elrond is bearded.

The backstory of the Rings of Power is told via a kabuki dumb show with jugglers.

Arwen is 13 years old. Aragorn ends up marrying Eowyn.

The Fellowship escape the snows of Caradhras by entombing themselves in giant ice blocks and floating down the River Anduin until they melt.

Gandalf doesn't know the Dwarven language [that's right, instead of Elvish] well enough to open the gates of Moria. So the Fellowship dig a pit, put Gimli in it, cover him with a cape, and beat him up until the right word emerges from his ancestral memory.

Frodo has sex with Galadriel.

When Boromir dies, he is buried under a tree.

Much of the Rohan subplot is cut out entirely.

After Eowyn is injured killing the Witch-King and lies on the battlefield, Aragorn heals her by lying down on top of her and pressing his body against hers.

Denethor kills himself with a knife, which he presses against himself as Aragorn embraces him in friendship.

Saruman is the Mouth of Sauron.

And to top it off, they had the gall to specify in their script that Tolkien himself (who was still alive at the time) should provide the opening narration.