Since completing this screenplay, I came to realize there were a number of aspects about the writing that I just didn't feel were all that good and could use a little re-editing, so I decided to give the screenplay a minor re-write to iron out all the wrinkles.
Since I consider the version here finished, however, and as I don't believe in Lucas-styled historical revision, I've decided not to re-edit my entries here. Anyone interested in reading the updated version can read it here:
http://duracellenergizer.deviantart.com/art/Star-Wars-The-New-Dawn-463349742?_sid=48c70101
For those who aren't interested in reading virtually the same script over again a second time, here is a more-or-less comprehensive list of the changes I've made.
- The formatting has been changed to reflect that of the standard screenplay format (Formerly italicized words have now been underlined, distinct sounds have been rendered in all-caps, etc.).
- Tidied up the grammar (Removed a lot of unnecessary commas, in particular.).
- Some of the more stilted dialogue has been rewritten to be more natural.
- The Mandalorians now primarily speak in their own language.
- The conventional swords of the Mandalorian Knights have been changed to vibroswords.
- Zull is now fluent in Basic from the beginning.
- Beru has been aged up from twelve to thirteen.
- Anakin's hair colour has been changed from dark blond to black.
- Ben now calls Anakin "Nik" from time-to-time instead of always referring to him by his full name.
- When Ben first mentions the Jedi to Nik, instead of being ignorant of their very existence, Anakin initially thinks they're nanotech-enhanced monks.
- The Light Hammer has been renamed the Lightning Warrior (Instead of bringing to mind a hammer made out of light, which was what I originally intended, Light Hammer just brought to mind a lightweight hammer, which just isn't very impressive at all.).
- Various other minor additions/subtractions/alterations.
As for the Knight of the Empire screenplay I'm currently working on, it, too, will be re-edited to match the updated version of The New Dawn.