Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE* — Page 7

Is Nashira still eleven? If so, I suggest you make her at least thirteen. I don't know of any eleven year old girls who would behave even remotely like her. Most girls are just starting to realize that they like boys at that point. ;)

Nashira may be twelve now. Five months or so have passed in-story since she was introduced, after all. ;-)

I suppose her characterization is a little off, though. I tried to make her mature without making her too mature and childlike without making her too childlike, but it seems I ended up just sliding her back-and-forth between the two.

Well, I'd go with the slightly more mature and older side of her. It fits better with scenes like the one in which she almost gets raped. Unless those guys were all pedophiles, they probably wouldn't have been so keen on a preteen. And when I was fourteen, I wasn't attracted to any eleven year old girls. Maybe Anakin just hasn't met many girls his age, but guys his age tend to think of girls Nashira's age as little kids. Just a thought.

I think most of Anakin's attraction to her stems from him having spent so many months living close to her in a hostile environment. In more normal circumstances, he probably wouldn't have developed such intense feelings for her. I do see where you're coming from, though.

I've gone back to the last entry and replaced the kiss between Anakin and Nashira with a hug. I figured it would work better to preserve the big brother/little sister dynamic and save the intimate, romantic moments between them for the sequel.

I think that's the way to go.

EXT. SPACE - DANIA VII

The Nyax and its escort of three assault ships leave Dania VII's orbit for open space.

INT. NYAX/BRIDGE

Pre Vizsla sits in the command chair on the Nyax's bridge, his aide Karras standing at attention by his side.

KARRAS (MANDALORIAN AIDE): We are out of Dania VII's gravity well, milord. We can make the jump to lightspeed at any time.

PRE VIZSLA: (to the helmsman) Do it.

The Mandalorian helmsman nods once with silent acknowledgement and begins entering the coordinates for Ryloth into the navicomputer.

EXT. SPACE

Suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, seven Imperial warships -- two Venator-class star defenders and five Victor-class star destroyers -- drop out of hyperspace right in front of the Mandalorian ships.

INT. NYAX/BRIDGE

Seeing the imposing number of ships comprising the Imperial fleet, the Mandalorians on the bridge of the Nyax freeze.

PRE VIZSLA: (alarmed) What in the name --?

INT. RESOLUTION/BRIDGE

Bail Organa sits in the command chair on the bridge of the star defender Resolution, Raia Vaness standing at attention by his side.

SENSOR OFFICER #2: We have four Mandalorians on the scope, Admiral. One Lictor-class dungeon ship and three Jehavey'ir-class assault ships.

WEAPONS OFFICER: Permission to blow them out of the sky, sir.

BAIL: (grins) Make it so.

INT. NYAX/BRIDGE

Vizsla bolts upright from his chair.

PRE VIZSLA: Establish communication with Dania VII! Inform them --

EXT. SPACE

The Resolution opens fire on the Nyax. Green turbolaser fire pummels the smaller dungeon ship, pierces its deflector shields, and quickly reduces it to a flaming wreck. The three Mandalorian assault ships are quick to retaliate, but they are automatically vaporized by backup fire from one of the star destroyers.

INT. RESOLUTION/BRIDGE

SENSOR OFFICER #2: The assault ships have all been obliterated and the dungeon ship's a burning ruin. We got 'em, sir.

BAIL: Good, very good. (beat) Now, with that unpleasantness out of the way, prepare to go into orbit around the planet's fifth moon and alert our friends in the Mandalorian stronghold of our arrival.

INT. DANIA VII - BUNKER 13/SUBLEVEL R/TRANSMITTER ROOM - DAY

Inside the transmitter room sit three individuals -- a Chadra-fan, a snivvian, and a saurin. To deal with boredom, the three have each chosen different means to pass the time; the Chadra-fan works on a holographic jigsaw puzzle, the snivvian reads a comic book on a datapad, and the saurin plays with a neon-lit yo-yo. They barely notice Nashira as she comes walking in.

SNIVVIAN: Hey, Nashira. Didn't know you were working the early day shift today.

NASHIRA: I'm not, really. Nik sent me down here.

SNIVVIAN: So you're actually skipping out of your classes today?

CHADRA-FAN: Not smart, girl, not smart at all.

NASHIRA: Nik thinks today's the day the Imperials arrive. He wants me to stay down here so I don't get hurt when the revolt happens.

The saurin proclaims something in his reptilian tongue.

CHADRA-FAN: (giggles) You said it. That Nik and his daydreams.

Sitting down with the three non-humans, Nashira steals a glance at the comic book the snivvian is reading.

NASHIRA: What are you reading?

SNIVVIAN: Manman of Extraspace, No. 7362, Vol. 5603, "Manman vs. the Paruvans". (hands the datapad to Nashira) Want to read it? I can set the language mode to Aurabesh if you like.

NASHIRA: (holds up her hand) No, no, that's alright. I brought my own reading material.

SNIVVIAN: (shrugs) Suit yourself.

Just as the snivvian goes back to reading his comic book, the red light on the transmitter begins to flash. Taking notice of the flashing light, the Chadra-fan leaves her puzzle and bolts over to the transmitter.

CHADRA-FAN: (reading over the transmission) It's from the Imperials. Their fleet has arrived in the system.

SNIVVIAN: We have to tell the others.

Closing their eyes, all four individuals in the room begin broadcasting this information to their compatriots throughout the bunker.

CUT TO

A montage of inmates throughout the bunker receiving the telepathic broadcast from the informants in the transmitter room.

EXT. SPACE - DANIA VII'S FIFTH MOON

The fleet of Imperial ships hangs in low orbit above Dania VII's barren fifth moon.

INT. RESOLUTION/BRIDGE

CMDR. VANESS: Sir, an hour's passed since we informed the prisoners of our arrival. The time has come to attack.

BAIL: Right you are, Raia. (to the helmsman) Move away from the moon and go into low orbit around the planet itself. (to the weapons officer) Once we are in position, target their dockyards and open fire. (to the communications officer) Tell the other ships to follow suit.

EXT. SPACE - DANIA VII

As one, the Imperial ships move away from the moon and descend upon Dania VII itself. Once in low orbit, the star defenders and destroyers take aim and, finding the dockyards in the Mandalorian metropolis on the planet below, open fire with their turbolasers.

EXT. DANIA VII - METROPOLIS - DOCKYARDS - DAY

As the Mandalorians go about their business on the dockyards housing all their dreadnaughts, assault ships, and fighters, a torrent of heavy green turbolaser fire falls down on them from the sky. They haven't even the time to register what is happening as they, the dockyards, and the surrounding three-hundred kilometres are eradicated from existence.

INT. TRAINING CENTRE 14/ROOM 112 - DAY

Students file into the room as Instructor Poule goes over his notes on a datapad. As Anakin takes a seat at his desk beside Orowi, he stares hard at the Mandalorian instructor.

POULE (INSTRUCTOR #2): (walks up to the head of the class) Alright, everyone, today we're going to go over the --

Noticing Anakin's hard stare, Poule goes silent for a moment.

POULE: (frowns) What's your problem, Skywalker?

Without a word, Anakin -- along with half of the other students in the room -- closes his eyes.

EXT. TRAINING ARENA - DAY

Ben, Siri, and a number of other Level 34ers are led out into the centre of the training arena, various cleaning tools and products on them. Waiting for them, his fat, red, grinning face unhelmeted, is the Mandalorian taskmaster.

TASKMASTER: Alright, you worthless grubbers, I want you to get this arena nice and clean for Noum's afternoon training session. I want it clean enough to reflect the suns' light, understand? Good! Now hop to it!

While a number of the workers obey and start about their cleaning duties, most of them -- Siri and Obi-Wan included -- merely stand where they are, refusing to move. Immediately aware of this act of disobedience, the taskmaster's red face deepens to maroon.

TASKMASTER: (angry) What are you dung-eaters doing standing there like a crop of dead 'droids?! Get to work!

The still workers refuse to respond. Instead, they all close their eyes.

INT. BUNKER 13/SUBLEVEL R/TRANSMITTER ROOM - DAY

Nashira, the snivvian, the saurin, and the Chadra-fan all sit cross-legged upon the stone floor, their eyes closed in concentration.

INT. TRAINING CENTRE 14/ROOM 112 - DAY

Frustrated with Anakin's silent treatment, Poule strides over to him and angrily places his hands down on the boy's desk.

POULE: Am I boring you, Skywalker? Am I putting you to sleep?

Suddenly, a strong, sourceless breeze begins to blow through the room. Alarmed, Poule staggers back.

POULE: (afraid) What are you doing?

EXT. TRAINING ARENA - DAY

Full of rage, the taskmaster stomps over to one of the silent workers -- a tall, slender ho'din with blue-green skin.

TASKMASTER: (yelling) I said get to work!

With a heavy punch to the gut, the Mandalorian sends the ho'din to the ground. Spitting on the ho'din, the taskmaster then kicks her in the side of the head.

TASKMASTER: You won't work? Then you won't live!

Reaching for his side, the taskmaster unsheathes his sword. As he raises his blade of polished Mandalorian iron high above his head, Siri and Obi-Wan pull out their lightsabers.

INT. TRAINING CENTRE 14/ROOM 112 - DAY

Full of fear, Poule rushes over to his desk. Pulling a drawer open, he pulls out a blaster pistol and quickly aims it at Anakin. Before the instructor can pull the trigger, however, the closed eyes of every concentrating student in the room open.

An invisible force suddenly hits Poule, hurling him backward. With a loud crash he hits the wall, collapsing to the floor in an unconscious heap.

EXT. TRAINING ARENA - DAY

As one Obi-Wan and Siri open their eyes and activate their lightsabers. As the taskmaster swings his sword downward, the two Jedi Knights cross their lightsabers before it, blocking the metal blade before it can make contact with the ho'din.

TASKMASTER: (surprised) What!? Where did you get those lightsabers?!

Bringing their blades up, the two Jedi knock the taskmaster's sword back. Wasting no time, the Mandalorian takes a swing at Obi-Wan and strikes the Jedi in the face with the flat side of his blade. As Ben reels backward in pain, the taskmaster quickly turns upon Siri; lunging forward, he crosses blades with the Coruscanti Jedi.

TASKMASTER: (screaming) Death Watchmen! To my aid!

Hearing his cry for help, various Death Watchmen stationed throughout the training arena leave their posts in a rush to reach the centre of the arena.

As the taskmaster knocks Siri's lightsaber from her hand, the beaten ho'din rises from the ground and throws her hand out toward the Mandalorian. To his surprise, his sword is telekinetically wrenched out of his grasp and into her. As the Mandalorian reaches for his blaster, the ho'din lunges forward, running him through with his own weapon.

As the armed Death Watchmen arrive in the centre of the arena, the remaining workers all awaken from their trance and turn to face their oppressors. As the Mandalorians open fire on them with their blasters, the Level 34ers throw up their arms and, through the Force, erect a shield which causes the blaster bolts to dissipate before they can reach their targets.

MANDALORIAN #14: Their Force shield is too strong for blasters!

MANDALORIAN #15: Call for reinforcements! Tell them to bring in heavier --

Before the Mandalorian can finish her order, the workers send the Force outward to throw her and her fellow Death Watchmen back into the stone walls of the converted amphitheatre.

INT. TRAINING CENTRE 14/ROOM 112 - DAY

Walking over to Poule's unconscious form, Anakin bends down and picks up his fallen blaster. Rising back up, he leaves the classroom; his fellow students follow along behind him.

INT. TRAINING CENTRE 14/CORRIDOR - DAY

As the students walk out of Room 112, they spot two Mandalorians -- an instructor and an armoured Death Watchman -- walking down the corridor together. As Anakin blasts the warrior in the face, killing him instantly, one of the other students uses the Force to send the instructor flying down the length of the corridor.

INSTRUCTOR #3 (Wilhelm Scream)

CUT TO

A montage of various inmates throughout Bunker 13 and beyond rising up against the Mandalorians, using their collective knowledge and power in the Force to strike back. While many end up dying at the hands of the Mandalorians, many more manage to prevail against the armoured warriors.

INT. RESOLUTION/BRIDGE

SENSOR OFFICER #2: The bombardment was successful, Admiral. The Mandalorian dockyards have been completely obliterated.

BAIL: Time for the second phase of our attack. (to the communications officer) Order Black and White Squadron down to the planet.

EXT. DANIA VII - PLAINS - DAY

From out of the sky plummets a burning escape pod. Its engines damaged, it cannot slow its descent as it plows into the ground, blasting a large crater into the earth.

As smoke rises from the charred exterior of the pod, the hatch is blow open. Stepping out onto the uprooted soil, visibly injured from the impact, is Pre Vizsla.

As Vizsla staggers away from the pod, the sound of sublight engines begin to resound through the air. Looking up, the Mandalorian Knight watches as twenty-four starfighters -- the six TIE-fighters of White Squadron and the six T-Wing fighters of Black Squadron -- soar through the sky over his head, their trajectory taking them toward the front wall of the Mandalorian complex which stands far in the distance near the horizon.

PRE VIZSLA: No ...

Taking another step forward, Vizsla collapses to his knees, grunting with pain.

INT. BLACK LEADER'S TIE-FIGHTER/COCKPIT - DAY

BLACK LEADER: (to the other fighters over his radio) We're approaching the Mandalorian complex. Remember to limit your weapons' fire to hangars, gun emplacements, and ammunition dumps -- we want to keep civilian casualties down to a minimum.

INT. WHITE LEADER'S T-WING/COCKPIT - DAY

WHITE LEADER: Copy that, Black Leader.

As the Imperial fighters near the Mandalorian complex, several gun emplacements built along the top of the front wall come to life and begin unleashing volleys of yellow turbolaser fire. Twisting and turning, most of the fighters dodge the energy blasts and return fire, immediately destroying a third of the emplacements.

EXT. CENTRAL TOWER/GARDEN - DAY

As Zull sits upon a patch of vibrant teal grass, her eyes closed in meditation, a Mandalorian comes running into the garden, the expression on his face one of desperation.

MANDALORIAN #16: Mistress! Mistress!

Opening her eyes, Zull turns to look upon the man.

ZULL: What is it?

MANDALORIAN #16: It's the inmates, Mistress. They're revolting!

ZULL: (rises to her feet) What?

MANDALORIAN #16: The inmates of Bunker 13 are rising up, Mistress! They've killed most of the guards and taken their weapons!

ZULL: Aren't our warriors capable of crushing an insignificant little rebellion?

MANDALORIAN #16: They took our warriors by surprise, Mistress.

ZULL: Then have it stopped before news spreads to the other inmates and we have a full-blown riot on our hands.

MANDALORIAN #16: That isn't all. We're being invaded by the Empire.

ZULL: Why are you wasting your time telling me about it? Order our ships up to repel their fleet.

MANDALORIAN #16: We tried that, Mistress, but it was too late. The Imperials blasted the dockyards from space. There's nothing left.

ZULL: Aren't there any other ships anywhere else on the planet?

MANDALORIAN #16: Not on this planet, no, but we do keep a small reserve of sixteen dreadnaughts on Dania II.

ZULL: Send them.

MANDALORIAN #16: Mistress, the Imperial fleet consists of five Victor-class star destroyers and two Venator-class star defenders. Maybe our dreadnaughts could overwhelm the destroyers, but there is no way they could take on the defenders. They'd be sitting ducks.

ZULL: Send them anyway. What do we have to lose?

EXT. SPACE - DANIA VII

As the ships of the Imperial fleet sit facing the red planet before them, sixteen Mandalorian dreadnaughts approach them from behind and open fire.

INT. RESOLUTION/BRIDGE

The ship shakes as the turbolaser fire's kinetic energy reverberates through the hull.

BAIL: What was that?!

SENSOR OFFICER: Admiral!

BAIL: What is it!?

SENSOR OFFICER: Detecting sixteen Dreadnaught-class heavy cruisers coming up on us from behind!

BAIL: Order all ships to turn around and return fire!

EXT. SPACE - DANIA VII

Turning around, the seven Imperial ships open fire upon the Sixteen Mandalorian dreadnaughts. Deciding that the star defenders are too powerful to take on directly, the Mandalorians decide to concentrate their firepower on the weaker star destroyers. Within moments, two of the destroyers go up in flames.

EXT. DANIA VII - BUNKER 13 - DAY

As the residents of Bunker 13 rise up from the depths of the bunker, they find a living barrier made up of armed Death Watchmen lying in wait for them. Like a living tide, the Force-wielding rebels surge forth against the Mandalorians; while those in front are quickly cut down by blaster fire, the overwhelming numbers of those who remain prove to be too great for the Mandalorians to resist and, within moments, the rebels swarm over them, beating them down and taking their weapons.

EXT. MANDALORIAN COMPLEX - DAY

The starfighters of White and Black Squadron descend upon the Mandalorian complex like harpies from Hell, laying waste to Death Watch's hangers and ammunition dumps with their lasers and torpedoes. While a number of Death Watchmen are able to roll out a few anti-aircraft weapons platforms and send out a couple of fighters to counterattack the Imperial ships, they aren't enough to do much good against their attackers.

CUT TO

A montage of more-and-more residents throughout the complex rising up against the Mandalorians as the T-Wing and TIE-fighters bombard the Mandalorians' storage facilities.

EXT. SPACE - DANIA VII

While the Mandalorian dreadnaughts have managed to destroy all but one of the star destroyers, they failed to do much damage to the star defenders. Teaming up, the two defenders have laid waste to ten of the dreadnaughts and are quickly overpowering the remaining six.

INT. RESOLUTION/BRIDGE

COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER: Admiral!

BAIL: Yes, Lieutenant?

COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER: We're being hailed by the remaining dreadnaughts. They're surrendering, sir.

BAIL: (to the weapons officer) Stop firing.

WEAPONS OFFICER: Yes, sir!

BAIL: (to the communications officer) Tell them we accept their surrender.

COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER: At once, Admiral.

Sighing with relief, Bail turns to regard Vaness.

BAIL: It's over, Vaness. It's finally over.

EXT. CENTRAL TOWER/GARDEN - DAY

Zull stands in the garden with the Mandalorian, who is busy talking with someone over a comlink.

MANDALORIAN #16: (deactivates the comlink) (to Zull) The dreadnaughts have failed, Mistress. They have all been destroyed or surrendered. The Imperials have won.

ZULL: I see ...

MANDALORIAN #16: There remains but one thing for you to do now.

ZULL: I will deliver our surrender to the Imperial fleet commander myself.

MANDALORIAN #16: (astonished) What!? That isn't what I meant at all!

ZULL: (furrows her brow) What did you mean?

MANDALORIAN #16: The self-destruct sequence! I need your order to activate it! Once this complex is destroyed, they will have nothing! Nothing!

ZULL: (shocked) You're mad! I won't sacrifice thousands of lives just to spite the Imperials!

MANDALORIAN #16: (enraged) Spineless weakling! If you won't do it, I'll send the order myself!

Bringing up his comlink, the Mandalorian reactivates it.

MANDALORIAN #16: This is Pes Ahnt! Execute --

Reaching into her robes, Zull withdraws her lightsaber. Wasting no time, she drives the emitter of the weapon into the Mandalorian's gut and engages it, running him through with her chartreuse blade.

MANDALORIAN #16: (eyes bulging) Ugh!

Deactivating her lightsaber, Zull pushes the Mandalorian back, allowing his dead body to collapse to the ground.

I have only two more posts or so to go, and then this screenplay is finished. With that in mind, I thought now would be a good time to talk about the ships I've shown throughout this script.

The Consular-class cruiser Radiant VII is the exact same ship that shows up in the beginning of TPM.

I've always thought of it as the mirror image of SW's Tantive IV, so I felt it would work perfectly as the ship the Mandalorians board in the beginning of my story.

The Jehavey'ir-class assault ships are based off of the Jehavey'ir-type assault ship.

I just replaced "type" with "class" because I think "class" sounds better.

The Nyax is a Lictor-class dungeon ship like the one pictured in this image.

When I was younger, the little bit of info Dark Empire gave on the dungeon ships and their part in the Clone Wars/Great Jedi Purge helped feed my imagination on what the Purge was supposed to be like prior to the release of ROTS. As such, the dungeon ship eventually served as the genesis for the premise of this script. 

The Jedi starfighter Siri rides around in is the same type of fighter the Jedi in the PT go flying around in, detachable hyperdrive ring and all.

The Light Hammer -- and all other dreadnaughts mentioned throughout the screenplay -- are Dreadnaught-class heavy cruisers.

Suffice it to say, ever since I read the Thrawn Trilogy, I've wanted to incorporate dreadnaughts and every other ship/vehicle/weapon mentioned in the early EU as having been used during the Clone Wars into my PT rewrites.

The Twilight is a G9 Rigger freighter, the exact same ship Anakin is shown to pilot on occassion in The Clone Wars series.

Ever since I started on my endeavour to rewrite the PT, I wanted to reveal that what Owen said to Luke about Anakin being a navigator on a spice freighter wasn't actually a lie, and so I tried to include that seemy side of Anakin's past in his background on Tatooine. I never really did a good job incorporating the idea into my previous rewrite, but I feel I got it nailed down this time around.

The Xuthltan -- the ship commanded by the ill-fated Captain Wahr Blarh -- is a Xiytiar-class transport.

I wanted the Xuthltan to be as ungainly-looking as possible, so I went with this kind of ship. In hindsight, though, I regret giving such a lame ship a cool name like Xuthltan, especially since I got the name "Xulhltan" from a pretty good Cthulhu Mythos story.

Ah, well, I'll just reuse the name for something more deserving of it in the sequel. ;-)

This is the Kom'rk-class fighter the Death Watchmen use in their planetside raids/attacks.

The Venator-class star defender is based off of the Venator-class star destroyer from ROTS.

The reason I'm calling this type of ship a star defender rather than a destroyer is because, as a pre-Imperial class of ship, it wouldn't be given such an intimidating name. In my canon, the term "star destroyer" only came into use after the Republic transitioned into the far-less beneficient Empire, and as such it's only applied to wedge-shaped warships designed and built after the transition.

The shuttle Commander Piker flies to-and-from the volcanic moon inhabited by the warlike female aliens is a Theta-class shuttle.

In my canon, the TIE-fighters built before the rise of Palpatine had life support systems and hyperdrives. As such, they share the same full body of Darth Vader's later advanced TIE-fighter, only with straight, hexagonal panels instead of bent, octagonal panels.

While not the same type of ship, the medium-sized fighters of the warlike aliens Commander Piker and his team run up against in orbit above the volcanic moon are obviously inspired by Klingon Bird-of-Preys.

The Victor-class star destroyer is based off of the Victory-class star destroyer.

The reason why I'm calling it a Victor-class star destroyer instead of a Victory-class star destroyer is because I want the name of every star defender/destroyer class in my canon to end with "tor" (so Victor instead of Victory, Imperator instead of Imperial, etc.).

The T-Wing fighter is based off of the Z-95 Headhunter.

The reason why I'm not calling them Headhunters in my script is because the idea that the Headhunters are two-winged proto-X-Wings is another stupid retcon of the modern EU; Brian Daley's original description of the Headhunters painted a far different picture of their actual appearance. Therefore, out of respect for the original writer's original vision, I'm not applying the proto-X-Wing design to the Z-95 Headhunters.

Still, I like the proto-X-Wing look, and I still wanted to incorporate those kind of ships into my PT rewrite, so I just chose to call them T-Wings instead (they do look like capital "T"s, after all).

EXT. MANDALORIAN COMPLEX - CENTRE - SUNSET

More hours have passed, and a number of Lambda-class shuttles have landed in the centre of the Mandalorian complex to haul the surviving inmates and captured Death Watchmen away.

As the last of the freed captives are loaded aboard, the shuttles take off, leaving only two shuttles left on the ground; before the open hatch of one of these shuttles stand Obi-Wan, Siri, Anakin, Nashira, and Bail Organa himself.

OBI-WAN: (to Bail) Thank you for all that you've done for us, Bail. I appreciate it immensely.

BAIL: (grins) Don't mention it. It was just nice to see you again.

OBI-WAN: And I you.

At that, Ben and Bail shake hands.

BAIL: (salutes Ben) So long, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

OBI-WAN: (salutes Bail) So long, Admiral Organa.

With a final grin, Bail turns and climbs aboard the shuttle, leaving Ben, Siri, Nik, and 'Shira alone together.

SIRI: It's time for you both to go.

NASHIRA: Why not come with us? There's some room left on this shuttle.

SIRI: We're waiting for someone. You go along now. We'll take the other shuttle.

NASHIRA: (looks around) Where's Primeday, anyway? I didn't see her leave on any of the shuttles.

A moment of sad silence passes between them.

OBI-WAN: We haven't seen Primeday. (beat) She may be among those who didn't make it.

Another moment of sad silence passes between them.

ANAKIN: (to Ben) We did it, didn't we? We beat them.

OBI-WAN: (rests a hand on Nik's shoulder) We beat them together, apprentice.

Hearing that word directed at him, Anakin smiles. Then, putting their arms around one another, he and Nashira board the shuttle. Once both children are aboard, the hatch closes and the shuttle lifts off, climbing up into the darkening sky. Now only Ben and Siri stand together beside the last remaining shuttle.

ZULL: (O.S.) I am here.

Turning around, the two Jedi find Zull Uquesne standing there behind them. Dressed in a long emerald gown, with her long, green-white hair cascading down over her shoulders and her arms crossed over her large abdomen, she is a perfect vision of demure -- if sad -- loveliness.

ZULL: (approaches the Jedi) I am ready to go with you now.

SIRI: I'm glad you're coming with us, Zull.

ZULL: Coming with you? No. I'm just leaving with you. From there our paths will diverge and we will go our separate ways.

SIRI: Will you be returning to your people?

ZULL: (shakes her head) I can never return to my people or my world. That time has passed. (beat) I will find my place in the universe. It will just take time.

OBI-WAN: Have you thought about becoming a Jedi? You are incredibly strong in the Force -- you could be an incredible force for good in the galaxy.

SIRI: You don't even have to join the Coruscanti Order if you don't want to. There are other denominations which I'm sure you'll find more to your liking.

OBI-WAN: I could train you, if you'd like -- I wouldn't mind having two students. Or I could take you to my master.

ZULL: Thank you, but no. The Jedi path -- Jedi paths -- are not mine. My master's approach may have been wrong, but his heart was in the right place. (beat) Pre called us the Mandalorian Knights, so that is what I chose to be -- a Mandalorian Knight.

PRE VIZSLA: (O.S.) You are a traitor.

Hearing that rough, filtered voice, the three spin around. There, standing behind them, hunched over in pain, is Pre Vizsla.

ZULL: Pre!

OBI-WAN: Vizsla.

PRE VIZSLA: You thought me dead, didn't you? You thought your tricks and your lies would be the end of me. (coughs) You failed! I live! I live still!

ZULL: Pre, please! It's over! Let's just leave! Let's leave this place and find somewhere to go far from the Empire, far from the Jedi! Let's start over, just you and me! Please!

PRE VIZSLA: No more lies, Zull, no more tricks! I see through you, now, I see through you all!

Raising his hands up, the Mandalorian takes hold of the shuttle with the Force and, twisting his hands counter-clockwise, causes the ship to topple over onto its side.

PRE VIZSLA: No one will leave this world alive.

Lowering his hands, he pulls the folds of his dirt-stained robes aside, revealing the hilt of a lightsaber clipped to his belt. Taking hold of the dark gray length of metal, he pulls it out and presses the activation stud; with a soft, almost metallic whistle, a white blade with a pure black core sprouts from the hilt.

ZULL: Pre, no!

As Vizsla attacks, Zull pulls out her own lightsaber. Activating the chartreuse blade, she intercepts Vizsla's own before he can strike the Jedi. Grimacing, she struggles to hold his white-black weapon back.

PRE VIZSLA: I'll deal with you soon enough, traitor.

Stepping to the side, he causes Zull to overbalance. As she threatens to topple over, Vizsla spins the blade of his lightsaber around Zull's, causing her to lose her hold of the hilt. Tossing the yellow-green weapon away, the Mandalorian then sends his estranged apprentice sprawling to the ground with a backhanded punch to the face.

SIRI: (enraged) Vizsla, you damned bastard!

Pulling out her lightsaber, Siri engages its fuchsia blade.

SIRI: (points her blade at him) Why don't you pick on a woman who can fight back?

Bringing up his lightsaber, Vizsla pounces. Engaging his own azure blade, Ben joins Siri against the Mandalorian Knight. As one, the three combatants cross blades.

PRE VIZSLA: You turned her against me, you Jedi filth. For that I'll kill you -- you and the rest of your loathsome kind. I won't rest until every one of you lies dead at my feet.

OBI-WAN: Good luck finding a way offworld first. With this planet under Imperial control, you'd have to be smaller than a gnat to slip through their detection.

With an animalistic snarl, Vizsla strikes at Obi-Wan. Ben leaps backward, avoiding a decapitating blow by mere centimetres. Taking advantage of his current distraction, Siri takes a swing at Vizsla; as the tip of her fuchsia blade grazes his neck, he cries out in agony.

As the duel continues, Zull painfully sits up. Looking down at her crotch, she sees moisture staining the fabric of her gown.

ZULL: Gods, no. Not here. Not like this.

As the duel rages, Vizsla begins to grow visibly weaker; his strikes grow slow, his blocks sluggish. Soon, he begins coughing violently. Dropping his lightsaber and collapsing to his knees, he pulls off his helmet; one side of his face is horribly bruised and blood stains his mouth; the injuries he suffered in the crash are obviously far more grievous than they initially appeared to be.

PRE VIZSLA: (coughs up blood) I'm dying. Are you satisfied?

Lowering their lightsabers, the two Jedi regard the Mandalorian Knight with pity.

OBI-WAN: (deactivates his lightsaber) No.

SIRI: (deactivates her lightsaber) We aren't.

As the Jedi pocket their weapons, Vizsla reels over, coughing violently; as he coughs, he begins to weep.

PRE VIZSLA: (crying and coughing) Zull ... Zull ...

Standing up, Zull walks over to Vizsla; with each step she takes, more fluids seep from between her legs. As she reaches her mentor, he grabs onto her legs.

PRE VIZSLA: Zull ... Zull ... please ...

Kneeling down beside Vizsla, Zull looks upon him; as blood and tears run down his face, tears begin to run from her own green-gold eyes.

PRE VIZSLA: Zull ... I ... hurt you.

ZULL: (crying) No, no you didn't. I'm alright. You didn't hurt me.

PRE VIZSLA: Yes ... I did. I hurt you ... far too much ... I'm sorry I hurt you, Zull.

ZULL: Be quiet now. Save your strength.

PRE VIZSLA: No strength ... left to save. I'm ... dying.

ZULL: Don't say that!

PRE VIZSLA: Zull ... I'm ... sorry ... Forgive me ...

ZULL: You're forgiven, Pre ... you're forgiven.

PRE VIZSLA: Zull ...

ZULL: Yes?

PRE VIZSLA: (smiles) I'm going to see my parents again ... I'm going home.

With those words, Pre Vizsla -- former Jedi Knight of the Coruscanti Order, founder of the Mandalorian Knights -- gives up the ghost.

ZULL: (kisses Vizsla's forehead) Godspeed, my love.

Gently, Zull lowers Vizsla's body to the ground. As she does so, her body begins to glow with a green phosphorescence.

OBI-WAN: Zull --!

Rising up, Zull turns toward the toppled ship. Stretching out her arms, her body begins to glow brighter. With the awesome power of the Force flowing through her, she rights the toppled shuttle.

ZULL: I suggest you leave now.

Deciding to obey this incredibly powerful woman, the two Jedi turn and scramble up the shuttle's ramp. Just before she enters the ship, Siri turns to look upon Zull; the Meketrex's green glow continues to intensify.

SIRI: Zull ...

ZULL: Goodbye, Siri.

Turning away from the Jedi, Zull returns to Vizsla's still form. Wasting no more time, Siri ducks into the shuttle.

Lowering herself back down to the ground, Zull takes hold of Vizsla and, like a baby, cradles him in her arms. As she does so, tendrils of green energy begin to crackle from her intensely glowing body.

ZULL: (in the alien language, subtitled) It's finished ...

In moments the glow increases in size, swallowing Zull and Vizsla up completely.

As the shuttle escapes for the stars, the massive sphere of glowing light that was Zull Uquesne erupts, obliterating the entire Mandalorian complex with an explosion of concentrated Force energy.

DuracellEnergizer said:

ZULL: You don't even have to join the Coruscanti Order if you don't want to. There are other denominations which I'm sure you'll find more to your liking.

[...]

PRE VIZSLA: [...]

Lowering his hands, he pulls the folds of his dirt-stained robes aside, revealing the hilt of a lightsaber clipped to his belt. Taking hold of the dark gray length of metal, he pulls it out and presses the activation stud; with a soft, almost metallic whistle, a white blade with a pure blade core sprouts from the hilt.

[...]

ZULL: Gods, no. No here. Not like this.

They're deliberate creative decisions ... yeah ... that's it. *shiftyeyes*

EXT. VULDRONAII - LANDING PLATFORM - DAY

A Lambda-class shuttle drops out of the indigo-violet sky of the planet Vuldronaii, its wings folding up as it touches down upon atop the levelled summit of a large hill overlooking an impressive waterfall.

INT. TEMPLE OF THE EVER-FLOWING WATERS/CORRIDOR - TWILIGHT

The long corridor, panelled entirely in finely-sculpted soapstone save for the one long transparisteel wall which overlooks the impressive waterfall, is currently inhabited by six figures -- Siri, See-Threepio, Artoo-Detoo, Anakin, Siri, and a tall Sebouillian priest; while Siri, the priest, and the two droids stand beside an open doorway leading into another chamber, Nik and 'Shira stand away from them by the transparisteel wall, looking out upon the rushing waters of the magnificent waterfall. The three humans have all cleaned themselves up, bandaged all their wounds, and changed into fresh clothes since they left Dania VII.

C-3PO: (cont'd) Again, I must commend your mechanics for the fine job they did on repairing my body, Mistress Tachi. It is such a pleasure to have all my faculties restored to me. You wouldn't believe how stifling it is to remain in a powerless condition for months on end, and in a damaged state no less.

SIRI: (half-smiles) Internment in a Mandalorian prison for half a year gives me something of an idea, See-Threepio.

C-3PO: Hmmm. I suppose it does.

The priest utters something in his language to the golden protocol 'droid.

C-3PO: (to the priest) Oh, yes, quite right. (to Siri) If you'll excuse me, Mistress Tachi, I must leave you now. Mine is a most important duty and must be attended to without delay.

Artoo blorps and warbles a reply.

C-3PO: (to Artoo) What was that?

Artoo repeats his message.

C-3PO: Of course I'm needed. Not everyone on Vuldronaii can comprehend Seboutrexi. My programming as an interpreter is invaluable in this situation.

Artoo plops and fizzes.

C-3PO: (nonplussed) Oh, really? Well, I'll have you know that I've been programmed with subroutines which enable me to mimic humanoid and non-humanoid vocalizations down to the exact octave. Can the NCC-1701 translator 'droid do that?

With that the two 'droids leave with the priest into the doorway which takes them into the chamber beyond, arguing all the way.

Oblivious to the two 'droids and their bickering, Anakin and Nashira continue watching the waterfall, their faces dour.

NASHIRA: She was my friend, Anakin -- she saved me, she was the only Mandalorian who cared about me -- and I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to her, to tell her how happy I was to have her as my friend. (beat) I'll never see her again.

ANAKIN: Maybe you're wrong about that.

NASHIRA: You believe in life after death, a world beyond this one?

ANAKIN: After what I've experienced these past few months, how can I not? (beat) Ben told me that nothing ever really dies. We're all just luminous beings, trapped in packages of crude matter. When we pass on, we just shuffle off our packages of matter and move on to the next phase our existence, an existence of pure thought and feeling. (beat) Maybe you weren't meant to say goodbye because she hasn't really gone away. She's out there, somewhere, and one day, you'll see her again.

NASHIRA: I hope I do. I pray I do.

The fifteen-year-old Anakin puts his arm around the twelve-year-old Nashira and draws her close to him, tugging at her cheek playfully as he does so.

As Anakin, Nashira, and Siri stand where they are, Obi-Wan comes walking down the tunnel; adorned in loose cream-coloured robes, he has shaved off his braids and begun growing out his mustache.

OBI-WAN: Is everything ready?

Turning to face him, the boy, and girl, and the woman smile. Then, as one, they file into the chamber the priest and the 'droids entered mere minutes before.

INT. TEMPLE OF THE EVER-FLOWING WATERS/AUDITORIUM - TWILIGHT

In the massive round auditorium, thousands of Sebouilla and Meketrex have gathered around a raised dais.

INT. TEMPLE OF THE EVER-FLOWING WATERS/CONTROL ROOM - TWILIGHT

Artoo-Detto and See-Threepio stand together in the control room. Wheeling over to a computer, Artoo plugs into it.

INT. TEMPLE OF THE EVER-FLOWING WATERS/AUDITORIUM - TWILIGHT

A holographic display unit situated upon the dais comes to life, projecting a large, three-dimensional image of Zull's head over the audience members' heads. This is Zull as she was when the Mandalorians came for her, when she was still high priestess of the Meketrex. Opening her mouth, the holographic image begins to speak in Seboutrexi.

INT. TEMPLE OF THE EVER-FLOWING WATERS/CONTROL ROOM - TWILIGHT

With a cord in his hand, Threepio walks over to the same computer Artoo is plugged into. Sticking one end of the cord into the computer, he secures the other end into his navel.

INT. TEMPLE OF THE EVER-FLOWING WATERS/AUDITORIUM - TWILIGHT

The hologram of Zull begins to speak in both Basic and Seboutrexi.

ZULL'S HOLOGRAM: (cont'd) If you are hearing this, it means I did not make it. As that may be, I have taken the precaution of recording this message so that what I have to say will not be lost. (beat) A long time ago, our people were one -- one people, one nation, one world. (beat) Through mistakes of naiveté, we allowed ourselves to be torn apart, sundered, and exiled to strange new worlds alien to us. (beat) Though we survived and ultimately persevered, we were no longer one, no longer whole. We became the Sebouilla and the Meketrex, two imperfect sums of one perfect whole. (beat) The Gods punished us for our sins by driving us apart, but that separation was never meant to be permanent. The Gods have commanded that we return to each other's fold, and we must obey. (beat) I was supposed to marry the high priest of Sebouilla to initiate our reunification, but that can no longer be. It is now up to you, the two peoples of our two worlds, to initiate the reunification. It is you who must be the ones to marry one another. (beat) While we will forever have our differences, those differences are no cause for permanent secession. We can respect those differences, and by respecting those differences, we can embrace them. (beat) We have two eyes, two ears, and two nostrils, but only one sight, one sound, and one Breath.

Looking up at the image of their departed friend, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Siri, and Nashira cannot help but to be moved by her heartfelt words.

EXT. DANIA VII - RUINS - EVENING

On Dania VII, under a clear, starlit sky, lie the decimated ruins of what was once the Mandalorian complex. Nothing lives here now, nothing breathes, save for one exception.

Walking up to a specific spot, Primeday stops and kneels in the fine debris. Reaching down, she scoops out a shallow pit. Stopping, she takes her hand away and then begins turning her head this way and that, regarding the hole like an art critic regarding an intriguing painting. Then, with lightning-flash reflexes, she sends her fist crashing into the pit, pushing her arm elbow-deep into the detritus.

After a moment of searching, Primeday finally finds what she is searching for. Latching on to it, she pulls upward, unearthing that which she has found.

Dirt and debris gives way as the H'nemthe pulls a small naked child -- a young girl -- out of the debris. The girl -- a beautiful near-human of about six years of age -- has long, curly, light blond hair streaked with green-white highlights; her eyes, large and expressive, are an incredible green-gold hue.

As the H'nemthe looks down upon the child, smiling, the young girl looks up at her and smiles right back.

IRIS OUT

End titles

And that is it -- the script is finished.

Now, for a final game of "assign a face to the character"

The likeness of Zull's daughter is based on that of JonBenet Ramsey.

I know some may find this disrespectful -- perhaps even morbid. I felt, however, that it would serve as a nice tribute to such a beautiful child -- a child who had her life snuffed out in such a horrible fashion -- to have her reborn, so to speak, at the end of my story as a beacon for hope for the future, as an adopted child of the living Force itself.

I liked the episode I, you've created a story differently than most prequels rewrites. Making the protagonists are caught and put in a kind of concentration camp, as in the World War II with the Nazis and prisoners of war.
It is also interesting the vision of the Jedi in your prequels, being divided into different types or guilds, the only thing I didn't like from your Jedi is the vestment of the guild it belongs to Obi-Wan, I don't see the Jedi Knights, guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy dresses like the picture on page 2 of the clothes of Obi-Wan (unless it's just for episode I).

Another thing I'm not agree is the age of two characters:

Obi-Wan: If I am not mistaken in this episode he is 20 years old, I think you put him too young, in my opinion he should be at least 25, to represent the maturity he has in this episode.                                                           

Beru: In the same way that RicOlie_2 said Nashira should be older for  Anakin to notice her. The same goes for Owen and Beru, she should be at least 14, to be Owen's girlfriend, and I don't think a boy with 17 year old boy notice a girl of 12.

Leaving aside the issue of the ages of the characters, it's interesting the idea that the Republic has already been replaced by the Empire, but does not convince me at all. As everyone else is doing, I think Palpatine should be the one who declares the Galactic Empire.
But as I said above the story is very good, these are one of the few things that do not convince me.

I look forward to see Episode II to see the orphan boy named Darth Vader and Anakin's fall to the dark side.

CHRomer said:

the only thing I didn't like from your Jedi is the vestment of the guild it belongs to Obi-Wan, I don't see the Jedi Knights, guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy dresses like the picture on page 2 of the clothes of Obi-Wan (unless it's just for episode I).

Obi-Wan's a ronin Jedi, and ronin Jedi don't wear uniforms, so that outfit's just for this one episode. He'll be sporting different outfits throughout the next two sequels.

Obi-Wan: If I am not mistaken in this episode he is 20 years old, I think you put him too young, in my opinion he should be at least 25, to represent the maturity he has in this episode.

I do realize Ben comes off as a little too wise for his years. When I set out to write my new PT rewrite, though, I decided to stick with the birthdates the early EU originally gave Ben and Anakin -- 60 BBY for Ben, 55 BBY for Anakin -- and I had to make sure Anakin wasn't too old when he began his training (Yoda himself said Luke was too old for training in TESB, and he was only in his early 20s).

If I'd chosen to make Ben twenty-five or older, then I would have had to have done the same with Anakin, and that would have conflicted somewhat with TESB, which wouldn't have sat right with me.

Beru: In the same way that RicOlie_2 said Nashira should be older forAnakin to notice her. The same goes for Owen and Beru, she should be at least 14, to be Owen's girlfriend, and I don't think a boy with 17 year old boy notice a girl of 12.

I realize Beru is very young compared to Owen, and I'm aware of how distasteful their relationship is. Unfortunately, when I decided to make Beru Anakin's half-sister, I was forced to make her younger than him to facilitate the backstory of Anakin and his mother; when she got to Tatooine she already had Anakin but no man in her life -- it would have taken her some time before she fell in love again and had another child.

As with Ben, I'd like to make her older, but my hands are tied by the universe I've created.

Also, it should be noted that back in the days of the Old West, men often married teenaged girls who were far younger than them, even twelve-year-olds. Since Tatooine is an Old Western, frontier-far-from-the-hub-of-civilization type planet, it works in that regard, even if it is unwholesome by modern standards.

Leaving aside the issue of the ages of the characters, it's interesting the idea that the Republic has already been replaced by the Empire, but does not convince me at all. As everyone else is doing, I think Palpatine should be the one who declares the Galactic Empire.

It may be going against the grain, but there are three reasons I've gone this route:

1. To pay tribute to the original film's novelization, which mentioned that there were many emperors, not just one.

2. To fit with some of the earlier EU, which hinted that the Empire pre-dated Anakin's fall and Palpatine's rise to power by several decades.

3. To take unneeded emphasis off of Palpatine. My story is about Anakin's rise and fall and the part Obi-Wan plays in both; the cause of the Clone Wars, Palpatine's rise to power, the formation of the Empire, and the eradication of the Jedi are not central to this, so I'm not focusing on them.

I look forward to see Episode II to see the orphan boy named Darth Vader and Anakin's fall to the dark side.

I'm planning on getting started on writing the next episode right away, so I may be posting something new within a couple of weeks or even days. As Darth's just a baby in this next episode, though, he won't be doing much; you'll have to wait for the third episode before you see him do anything worthwhile. ;-)

Ok, thanks for the clearance.

DuracellEnergizer said:

I'm planning on getting started on writing the next episode right away, so I may be posting something new within a couple of weeks or even days. As Darth's just a baby in this next episode, though, he won't be doing much; you'll have to wait for the third episode before you see him do anything worthwhile. ;-)

 The issue of that Darth is a baby, you mean he will have 1 to 3 years or simply months?

As I read in another post from Episode II to Episode III pass 16 years, that would make Darth in Episode III has 16 to 19 years, right?

I think it would be more correct that he has at least two or three years, to make it look in Episode III like Anakin in AOC.

CHRomer said:

The issue of that Darth is a baby, you mean he will have 1 to 3 years or simply months?

Darth is only a couple weeks old in the second episode.

CHRomer said:

As I read in another post from Episode II to Episode III pass 16 years, that would make Darth in Episode III has 16 to 19 years, right?

By the third episode he will be sixteen, yes.

I think it would be more correct that he has at least two or three years, to make it look in Episode III like Anakin in AOC.

While I feel it would resonate more if Darth is adopted by Ben and his wife as an infant, I am open to aging him up a few years if an older Darth works better.

I guess I'll just have to see how it goes once I reach that part of the storyline.

It's going to be some time before I start writing the second episode of my rewrite, but here's a dramatis personae of some of the new characters I plan on including in the story to tide everyone over in the meantime:

Chlorian Vader

The human male governor of the planet Geonosis. He is the owner of Shmi Warka and the father of their son, Darth.

Corin DuQuesne

Nashira's mother.

Dahlia Blake

A Wroonian female smuggler.

Jano Beral

A Duros Jedi padawan of the Durosian Order. He is the son and apprentice of Sev Beral.

Jior-Dan Tahk

Spirit of a Bpfasshi darksider who managed to become the last Lord of the Sith prior to the fall of the Sith Empire. He resides on the Sith tombworld of Korriban with the other departed Lords and Ladies of the Sith.

Kannen Doom

A human female Mandalorian mercenary.

Llomon

A Trandoshan male bounty hunter. Partner of Mahttoh.

Mahttoh

A wookiee male bounty hunter. Partner of Llomon.

Nemec DuQuesne

Nashira's father.

Nykres Eikhan

Spirit of a pureblood Sith sorceress who managed to survive the Great Hyperspace War and escape the Great Sith Purge. Her final resting place is on Xuthltan, a desolate world now inhabited by the monstrous rakghouls.

Sev Beral

A Duros Jedi knight of the Durosian Order. He and his apprentices are partnered with Obi-Wan on the mission to repel the invading clone army from Geonosis.

SGW-0027

A human female general in the Athan (Clonemaster) army and the twenty-seventh clone of her line. Chemically sterilized as all Force-sensitive clones are, SGW-0027 has grown emotionally unstable over her inability to feel sexual pleasure or bear children. A misanthropic sadist who loathes all sentients -- including her own masters -- the only affection she feels is for SGW-0000, the dead woman whose DNA she was cloned from.

Shmi Warka

A human female slave who lives in the Condawn province on Geonosis. She is the property of Chlorian Vader and the mother of their son, Darth.

Teyf Beral

A Duros Jedi padawan of the Durosian Order. He is the nephew and apprentice of Sev Beral.

UIY-2249

A Mirialan male colonel in the Athan army and SGW-0027's second-in-command. An apathetic individual, he regards everything in life as either moderately amusing or uninteresting, including his commanding officer, whom he considers a mentally defective inferior.

Wilhuff Tarkin

Commander in the Imperial Navy. He serves under the command of Bail Organa aboard the Imperator-class star destroyer Devastator.

Y2K-2000

A hunter-killer 'droid.

Since completing this screenplay, I came to realize there were a number of aspects about the writing that I just didn't feel were all that good and could use a little re-editing, so I decided to give the screenplay a minor re-write to iron out all the wrinkles.

Since I consider the version here finished, however, and as I don't believe in Lucas-styled historical revision, I've decided not to re-edit my entries here. Anyone interested in reading the updated version can read it here:

http://duracellenergizer.deviantart.com/art/Star-Wars-The-New-Dawn-463349742?_sid=48c70101

For those who aren't interested in reading virtually the same script over again a second time, here is a more-or-less comprehensive list of the changes I've made.

• The formatting has been changed to reflect that of the standard screenplay format (Formerly italicized words have now been underlined, distinct sounds have been rendered in all-caps, etc.).
• Tidied up the grammar (Removed a lot of unnecessary commas, in particular.).
• Some of the more stilted dialogue has been rewritten to be more natural.
• The Mandalorians now primarily speak in their own language.
• The conventional swords of the Mandalorian Knights have been changed to vibroswords.
• Zull is now fluent in Basic from the beginning.
• Beru has been aged up from twelve to thirteen.
• Anakin's hair colour has been changed from dark blond to black.
• Ben now calls Anakin "Nik" from time-to-time instead of always referring to him by his full name.
• When Ben first mentions the Jedi to Nik, instead of being ignorant of their very existence, Anakin initially thinks they're nanotech-enhanced monks.
• The Light Hammer has been renamed the Lightning Warrior (Instead of bringing to mind a hammer made out of light, which was what I originally intended, Light Hammer just brought to mind a lightweight hammer, which just isn't very impressive at all.).
• Various other minor additions/subtractions/alterations.

As for the Knight of the Empire screenplay I'm currently working on, it, too, will be re-edited to match the updated version of The New Dawn.

Looking back, I realize that I should have written this screenplay in the frame of mind that it was a largely B&W film -- with only the dreams/visions/hallucinations and the final lightsaber duel in colour -- so as to completely run with the idea of the movie being filmed as if it were made forty years before the original film (1977 - 40 = 1937).

It's too late now, though -- I definitely am not going to go back through it to make the tiny needed alterations.

Quoth the Homer, "D'oh!"