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Post #710872

Author
DuracellEnergizer
Parent topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/710872/action/topic#710872
Date created
12-Jun-2014, 3:39 AM

I've gone back to my last post and completely rewritten the exchange between Zull and Siri. What I had originally wrote was just horrendously awful in my eyes -- the dialogue, the pacing, the characterization, everything -- so I had to cut it out. What I've replaced it with is much, much better; it flows now, I feel, instead of crashing about like a boat stuck in rapids.