My family issues aren't even behind it. It's just all me. I've gone kind of off the deep end mentally in the last few years. I don't really expect or plan on anything getting better. Mentally I'm not really even capable of that. I only haven't killed myself because I don't want to devastate my dad, and that's what will continue to stop me. Recently separated from all my friends and my girlfriend. Which is also not what's causing this, it's my own mental status. But though they may not be the cause, it's certainly not helping at the moment. Went from having 3 good friends and a great girlfriend to having nobody in a moment due to circumstances beyond anybody's control. Again, this isn't the cause, I've been like this for years. But it's certainly not helping matters.