WARNING. This is very sad. If you are unable to confront the concept of suicide do not read further.
Sorry if I bum anybody out.
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Reflective Note. This may be too "serious" to post on such a happy site as this. I may end up deleting. But this is shit that people go through and I hold the belief that you shouldn't shy away from the ugliness in the world.
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Here is a text conversation between myself and my sister, last night and this afternoon.
Sean: Urge to live fading.
Devin: That is a bummer. Who is this?
Sean: The Unknown. *
Devin: Wow.
(18 hour gap)
Sean: I have no idea how you're able to sleep at night.
Devin: Stop it Sean. I'm blocking this number.
Sean: Wow what a terrible human being you are.
so that happened, not very "Clear" is she. Now here's how the conversation played out with my mom.
Sean: Urge to live fading.
(12 hour gap)
Wendy: Revive it! Please call CJC. **
(6 hour gap)
Wendy: Let me know you're okay.
Sean: That'd be lying.
Wendy: Good enough.
What was my purpose in sending those texts? Simple. To tell my mom and my sister that I'm in the middle of some heavy shit. It's called a cry for help.
What is the purpose in posting this? So everybody can see how fucked it is to be born into Scientology.
* My mom is way into genealogy and years ago a guy writing a gene-book on the Negley name contacted her for family information. I hadn't been born yet, I think she was just barely pregnant, didn't even know if it was a boy or girl. So she gave the info and for me she gave my name as "Negley, Unknown. Born circa 1985." It's been a bit of a family joke that I'm the Unknown Negley.
** CJC = Continental Justice Chief. When you're declared SP he's one of your only people you are allowed to contact. Basically she's telling me to call him to try and get a "Committee of Evidence" done to look into the validity of my SP declare.