DuracellEnergizer said:
Well, I gave it some thought, and I decided to shorten "The Infamous Scene".
The more gratuitous elements have been removed; instead of having to bear with the Mandalorian beating Zull and tearing at her clothes, it now cuts from the Mandalorian approaching Zull directly to the Force Hound standing outside her cell door listening to her screams.
It nows plays out as a more chilling counterpart to the scene in Star Wars where Vader enters Leia's cell on the Death Star with a torture droid, and -- hopefully -- it's now more in line with the tone and style of the OOT.
Much better. This gets the message across, but keeps it clean. And yes, it feels much more like it belongs in Star Wars.
DUS UBBS: (frowning) Hey, now girl --
Her eyes and lips twitching, she crosses over to the Mandalorian and, seizing his head in her hands, drives her fingertips into his skull.
DUS UBBS: YYYEEEAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
As the Mandalorian's blood begins to run along her fingers, thin tendrils of sickly green energy begin to snake out from her hands, driving themselves into the violator's head. Immediately, the Mandalorian's body begins to shudder violently, his eyes rolling up into his head. Zull, for her part, merely increases the dosage, intensifying his shudders until they become full-blown seizures.
DUS UBBS: Ubbaaadduuubbaaabbbbdddduuubbbaaaaaa ...
His head vibrates rapidly in her hands, tongue and saliva trailing from his mouth with his eyes rolled up in their sockets; the blood that flows now from his head wounds is congealed and black, the surrounding flesh charring and flaking away.
Her teeth beared in an animalistic snarl, Zull wrenches her fingers from the Mandalorian's head. Dus Ubbs, stone dead, collapses to the floor, blood, snot, and saliva running from his facial orifices.
EXT. SPACE
The dungeon and assault ships pass through the void of space, an infinitude of white stars glowing behind them.
My suggestion for this scene is that you don't show the unnecessary gore. This is Star Wars after all. I suggest that instead of showing all the gory details, have Zull begin (key word: begin ;)) to dig into his eyes with the force lighting thing. Then cut to her face so that we just hear the screams of Dus Ubbs and the focus is on Zull's emotion-filled face. Then have her lift her bloody hand up and look at it and cut to space. But if this is part of the reference, then whatever, keep it. This is only a script anyway, and unfortunately it won't ever be on screen.