DuracellEnergizer said:

RicOlie_2 said:

For example, instead of Bail calling Wahr Blahr (is that a tribute to Warbler? :D) a "stupid son of a b****", he could call him a "stupid son of a gundark" or a "mynock-brained hair slug [or mynock-brained idiot, if you don't want to make the Starwarisms seem too forced]".

I thought about it, but I wanted to express just how upset Bail was -- making him say something along the lines of what you suggested would have put a damper on the gravity of his emotional turmoil IMO.

And yes, Wahr Blahr is a tribute to Warbler (didn't the sighing give it plainly away?) ;-)

That's a good point about emotional impact.

I missed the sigh the first time I read it, but yeah, it's a dead giveaway. :)

4. Anything graphically violent or of sexual nature that isn't appropriate for kids makes it feel a lot less like Star Wars.

...[stuff]...

Fair enough (to the "stuff").