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The thread where we make enemies out of friends, aka the abortion debate thread — Page 24

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RicOlie_2 said:

 Frink has linked to the post telling his story a few times so I'm not quite sure why you only remember references, etc., but maybe you haven't followed the link in a while. Anyhow, it's there with about as much detail as Frink has ever given as of yet.

TV's Frink said:

Either way, this (and the one before it) is not the norm.  If he is guilty, he should be locked up for a very long time.  Incidentally, I have told my story before, but ours was done in a completely professional and humane manner (at a regular hospital, by the way).  This was over seven years ago now, but thanks to changes in the law, a regular hospital can no longer accommodate needy people like us.

 I was typing and looking while you posted this response, but that is the post I followed to provide my above link.  In any case, as I just mentioned, I've not been reading this thread as thoroughly out of a desire to avoid arguments, and though I'm pretty sure I'd read Frink's link, I hadn't given the whole topic much thought and it escaped my mind.  My apologies to him.  Only now has it become more salient to me, as my wife is pregnant.

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RicOlie_2 said:

Gee whiz guys, I quoted Frink's link to his story in my last post in this thread! :P

 and after I realized you did that, I edited my post.

 

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 (Edited)

Lol olie2

Ender, if you aren't looking for arguments, I sincerely believe you are in the wrong thread, even though it's your thread.  The subject is too divisive to expect otherwise.

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Warbler said:

RicOlie_2 said:

Gee whiz guys, I quoted Frink's link to his story in my last post in this thread! :P

 and after I realized you did that, I edited my post.

 

 No worries, I'm just teasing you guys. :)

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darth_ender said:

...Further scanning has led me to Bingo's story.  

ah yes, I had forgotten.  A sad story indeed.  

darth_ender said:

 I really am sorry for you, Frink, and for your sister, Bingo. 

 ditto.

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TV's Frink said:

Lol olie2

Ender, if you aren't looking for arguments, I sincerely believe you are in the wrong thread, even though it's your thread.  The subject is too divisive to expect otherwise.

 What I mean was, in the past I'd been avoiding arguments.  At this point, the topic is much fresher in my mind, and I feel far more emotionally ready for an argument.  So bring it on! ;)

And I thought I'd make an announcement out of it.  But I see your point and won't belabor it any longer.  Perhaps I'll put it somewhere else as well, where others avoiding divisive topics will actually see it.

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Bingowings, if you want to throw down your gloves (?) about a particular topic, feel free to do so here.  I'm not at all offended, but I feel like you are trying to say that I'm deliberately insensitive, but try to make up for it later with insincere apologies.  If that's how you take it, that's fine, but note that when you called me a certain very rude name due to my poor phrasing, Frink told me an apology wasn't even necessary, yet I did apologize for the misused word.  Just because you feel passionately that abortion should be the woman's choice does not mean I feel that life should be the preference.

This is my thread.  I started it.  I have been very vocal in it.  It is called "the abortion debate thread".  That means that we don't only discuss the pros and cons of abortions, or the pros and cons of giving women the choice, but also the pros and cons of giving the child's life a chance.  My child's life is more than a bunch of cells to me.  Perhaps it would have been wise to break the news in a good news thread, and then share my feelings here, but I did it in reverse, and started the other thread to keep the peace.  If you have a problem with my methodology, I suggest you spend more time confronting me directly and less time trying to be clever.

And if I'm wrong about your intent, I sincerely (as in I really am sincere) apologize.

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In the other thread I posted about my carrots and the remote probability that your child will have orange hair.

In this thread

Bingowings said : I 'm pretty sure other people would be more diplomatic but me being me I think you are being a bit of a cunt here, hopefully not deliberately but I feel it needs to be said.

Yes it's a taboo word, yes it's saved for special occasions and Frink is his own man if he feels you have nothing to apologise for that his own concern and your apology regardless of his lack of requirement for one is noted.

But I do  think you were being a bit of a cunt then so a retraction of my previous statement would serve only as a tidy deception.

You want your child, so in its current form of course it is more than just cells to you. It is a bundle of hope for the future. I dare say are already speculating some aspects of that future. As someone who believes in a soul injected into each and every embryo you will also endow those cells with that value too.

Not everyone feels the same way and not everyone who feels the same way has the opportunities you will hopefully enjoy.

I believe in a spirit of sorts too. I see it in non-human animals  I feel their suffering. I am powerless to prevent it but I am empowered to limit it as far as I am able by not eating the slaughtered or wearing them or hunting them or endorsing experiments on them. 

You are similarly empowered. 

If you disagree with something don't do it, retract from the society of those that do and hope to lead by example but expect nothing.

Progress is a retractable lure. In Russia and Iran even here in my own country hard earned freedoms and rights are being eroded or upended.

It's a complicated topic, I'm sure you appreciate that it's not as simple as saying "this thing is bad we must ban it and punish those who do it" there are people who believe that it is that simple.

My opinion on the subject is  the mother is an undeniable human identity an embryo is a debatably human identity that becomes more definitely human as the pregnancy progresses and as the child grows.

A woman with a bunch of cells in her body she doesn't want there is not the same as an expectant mother with a nearly fully formed child ready to be born. Other options should be made more readily available but ultimately medical and legal interventions should reflect that spectrum of physical development because it is clinically measurable.

A soul is not clinically measurable. Expectations of future happiness are not clinically measurable. The woman's health and will is measurable. God's will is not measurable. 

Laws and medical practise can only be based on what can be measured and proved not on assertion or feeling alone. 

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Bingowings said:

In the other thread I posted about my carrots and the remote probability that your child will have orange hair.

Well, I thought perhaps because you feigned sorrow for a pretended insult, that perhaps you were saying my apologies were insincere.  I'm still unclear as to whether this was your intent or not.

Incidentally, neither of our families has red hair in a near relative, so chances are pretty low of getting a ruddy baby, I'm afraid.

In this thread

Bingowings said : I 'm pretty sure other people would be more diplomatic but me being me I think you are being a bit of a cunt here, hopefully not deliberately but I feel it needs to be said.

Yes it's a taboo word, yes it's saved for special occasions and Frink is his own man if he feels you have nothing to apologise for that his own concern and your apology regardless of his lack of requirement for one is noted.

But I do  think you were being a bit of a cunt then so a retraction of my previous statement would serve only as a tidy deception.

I didn't expect or ask for an apology.  I just think it was unnecessarily rude and did more to show what a jerk you were being than indicate that I was being such.

You want your child, so in its current form of course it is more than just cells to you. It is a bundle of hope for the future. I dare say are already speculating some aspects of that future. As someone who believes in a soul injected into each and every embryo you will also endow those cells with that value too.

Not everyone feels the same way and not everyone who feels the same way has the opportunities you will hopefully enjoy.

I believe in a spirit of sorts too. I see it in non-human animals  I feel their suffering. I am powerless to prevent it but I am empowered to limit it as far as I am able by not eating the slaughtered or wearing them or hunting them or endorsing experiments on them. 

If you had the ability to end the slaughter of animals, would you?  If you had the opportunity to share your feelings and argue your reasoning, would you?  Do you see anything wrong with being open and passionate about those feelings?  Do you see anything wrong with trying to evoke change in the world around you because of those feelings?  You are not powerless to stop it, though your fight is definitely up a steep hill, and I encourage you to match whatever your passion with equal action.  If you want to end the slaughter of animals, pursue whatever course you feel is necessary to ensure it.  Who knows?  One day your actions may find greater fruition than you imagined.

And yes, I grant myself the same privilege.

You are similarly empowered. 

If you disagree with something don't do it, retract from the society of those that do and hope to lead by example but expect nothing.

Here I am, pulling a Warbler quoting/point-counterpoint.  Can someone get me a taco? ;)  You have political issues that are clearly very important to you, such as gay marriage.  Do you simply retract form the society of those that fight against it and simply lead by example?  Or have you actually 1) petitioned Parliament to take action ; or 2) marched in opposition to anti-gay marriage policies; or 3) canvased others sharing your views publicly; or 4) shared your feelings openly with people you associate with, face to face or online?  I know for a fact you've done at least one of these, and perhaps you have done more.  That said, you have not led by example and expected nothing.  You led vocally and expected action.

Progress is a retractable lure. In Russia and Iran even here in my own country hard earned freedoms and rights are being eroded or upended.

It's a complicated topic, I'm sure you appreciate that it's not as simple as saying "this thing is bad we must ban it and punish those who do it" there are people who believe that it is that simple.

My opinion on the subject is  the mother is an undeniable human identity an embryo is a debatably human identity that becomes more definitely human as the pregnancy progresses and as the child grows.

A woman with a bunch of cells in her body she doesn't want there is not the same as an expectant mother with a nearly fully formed child ready to be born. Other options should be made more readily available but ultimately medical and legal interventions should reflect that spectrum of physical development because it is clinically measurable.

A soul is not clinically measurable. Expectations of future happiness are not clinically measurable. The woman's health and will is measurable. God's will is not measurable. 

Laws and medical practise can only be based on what can be measured and proved not on assertion or feeling alone. 

 This is my favorite part of your argument.  If you argued this way in the first place, I'd be far more interested in listening.  To restate my original intent on the occasion that pissed you off so badly, I was struggling for a word, sympathy came to mind, I clicked "Post Reply" and thought no more on it.  I knew even as I posted it that it was probably not the right word, but I expected my point to get across.  Obviously such was not the case, and even looking back, I don't know why I expected anyone to understand me correctly because clearly "sympathy" was so clearly the wrong word.  What I was getting at I still cannot find a single word to state.  I felt like Frink's situation was a continuous emotional appeal argument that was being used to try and trump all my points, whether used validly or not.  I think I was not being what you describe me as.

That said, we can measure and assert that a unique life exists at conception.  It is a life that, unhindered, will continue in most cases to develop into what is, without a doubt in anyone's mind, a person.  This is certainly not debatable.  What is debatable is when a human becomes a person.  One might argue that it is when it could potentially survive outside the mother's womb.  But when technology improves, will it become a person sooner?  Is it a person later in third world countries?  Is it actually when it is born?  But is there any substantial difference between a child moments before and after its umbilical cord has been severed?  Some might say when it becomes self-aware.  But children are not truly self-aware until long after birth.  Heck, the human brain doesn't even fully develop until about 23.  So when is a person a person?  I say that when it is beyond a doubt a genetically complete and unique organism with the capacity to continue its development, it is a human, it is a person, its life is worth saving.

Let me give an analogy that I've thought long on.  The argument that an unborn child is not yet a person, as advocated by Mary Anne Warren, is severely flawed in my mind.  She suggests the following criteria define a person:

  • consciousness (of objects and events external and/or internal to the being), and in particular the capacity to feel pain
  • reasoning (the developed capacity to solve new and relatively complex problems)
  • self-motivated activity (activity which is relatively independent of either genetic or direct external control)
  • the capacity to communicate, by whatever means, messages of an indefinite variety of types, that is, not just with an indefinite number of possible contents, but on indefinitely many possible topics
  • the presence of self-concepts, and self-awareness, either individual or racial, or both


Now let's hypothesize on an analogous train of thought.  Think of a man.  This man, due to the actions of a young male and female having fun with alcohol and a car, is injured and ends up comatose in a hospital bed.  In our little scenario, we have the technology to make a 97% guarantee that this man will not only come out of his coma (in about nine months), but will in fact ultimately make a full recovery, though there is a good chance his memory will be impaired.  But at the present we cannot detect any: a) consciousness; b) evidence of reasoning or significant brain activity; c) self-motivated activity; d) effort to communicate; d) enduring self-concepts.  This man is, according to Ms. Warren, not a person.  He is genetically human, but not a person.  The young couple involved did not have insurance, but because they are at fault in this accident, are required to pay for this man's medical bills and treatment.  However, simply euthanizing him is a cheaper option, and they won't be responsible for the physical therapy that would follow.  You see, when they chose to drink and drive, as fun as it was, they simply weren't ready for the consequences/commitment that might follow such actions.  Thank goodness this man was, at least for a time, a very large but ultimately nothing more than, a bunch of cells.

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You were clearly hip to the hurt this subject churns up when you started this thread, going by the title and yet for whatever reason you wrote what you wrote and let it hang there long enough for me to respond to it (more than microsecond it usually takes someone chirp in about a dead link or a typo).

When people give their life experiences on a thread like this it's not attention seeking, it's making a valid point that blanket believers in a non-abortion world ride over or remain ignorant of.

There is a rise in "I believe" politics which frankly disturbs me.

Yes I believe that animals shouldn't be slaughtered by humans for food but I don't politically lobby to limit the rights of meat eaters. I speak my mind when I'm asked but I don't picket restaurants of leather goods shops.

The winter Olympics drew attention to how the Russian Orthodox church is driving politics in that country also the Ugandan 'hang the homos' situation is being fueled by American Christian Evangelists. I'm sure you don't want a death list of women who have aborted pregnancies in your town but it comes from the same reflex against the advances in human rights over religious authority in the last four decades or so.

If I were a female Doctor who trained under the pretty corrupt regime of Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi only to find I now can't leave the house unattended or drive a car let alone find a cure for cancer because some tit with one eye on the bronze age says God says it's dirty, I'd be pretty pissed off.

Similarly I thank fate that I'm not an eleven year old girl raped in Chile and forced to carry full term based on the Catholic church's teaching.

These laws are based on feelings, myths and prejudices not on something measurable or provable.

You might as well bill the same gendered married for the floods in England.

Having a debate about religions or abortion or anything is fine but to expect civility when you call people who place examples of life experiences that challenge 'tummy feel' based ideas as nothing more than appeals for sympathy or attention is astonishingly brass-headed. Even if it is for a limited run and in lieu of alternative phrase.

You started a thread about good news and reported your happy event, my happy event was a bumper crop of golden carrots. I grow my own food, getting a bumper crop is good news to me. But somehow this is what a dig at you or something?

You can't figure this sort of stuff out with out prompting?

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In response to your last two sentences, I just asked.  I wasn't sure.  It wouldn't surprise me.  Your subtlety is often beyond this simpleton's grasp.  It causes me to second guess your statements.  So what?  In response to the rest, you make it difficult to have rational discussion.  I say one thing, you respond to the tangents; I tell you how I feel, you respond to how you're convinced I feel; I clarify my meaning, you respond to what you are so sure I actually meant.  And you ultimately disregard my valid points and statements.  I will respond more fully to your above post at a later time, but for now just know that you're arguing against someone else.

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Darth Ender is not a cunt, Bingo.   He is a nice guy.   He clearly did not intend to hurt Frink's feelings

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Bingowings said:

When people give their life experiences on a thread like this it's not attention seeking, it's making a valid point that blanket believers in a non-abortion world ride over or remain ignorant of.

I think it is clear that Ender is not a blanket believer in a non-abortion world.   He clearly beleives there are times when abortions should be allowed.

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I never said Ender was a cunt or a believer in blankets.

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Alright, you said he was being one. That isn't a whole lot different than saying he is one, but either way, he is not and was not being one.

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Being a bit of one for one post (and possibly by accident). And your assessment is your assessment. My words... my finger tips... my opinion.

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and I think the way you stated your opinion was rude.   You could easily have a found a much more polite way of telling he was wrong for saying what he said to Frink.   (notice that in critizing you for what you said to Ender, that I didn't use any rude terms like c**T)

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darth_ender said:

In response to your last two sentences, I just asked.  I wasn't sure.  It wouldn't surprise me.  Your subtlety is often beyond this simpleton's grasp.  It causes me to second guess your statements.  So what?  In response to the rest, you make it difficult to have rational discussion.  I say one thing, you respond to the tangents; I tell you how I feel, you respond to how you're convinced I feel; I clarify my meaning, you respond to what you are so sure I actually meant.  And you ultimately disregard my valid points and statements.  I will respond more fully to your above post at a later time, but for now just know that you're arguing against someone else.

 quoted for truth.

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Bingowings said:

You were clearly hip to the hurt this subject churns up when you started this thread, going by the title and yet for whatever reason you wrote what you wrote and let it hang there long enough for me to respond to it (more than microsecond it usually takes someone chirp in about a dead link or a typo).

Yes, I was aware this subject could offend or that I might be offended by it.  It 

When people give their life experiences on a thread like this it's not attention seeking, it's making a valid point that blanket believers in a non-abortion world ride over or remain ignorant of.

Valid points are pertinent.  I very much appreciate his story, as I'm pretty darn sure I've said before, and pointed out that there are many cases where it is appropriate.  But I also said that it is not always appropriate

There is a rise in "I believe" politics which frankly disturbs me.

Yes I believe that animals shouldn't be slaughtered by humans for food but I don't politically lobby to limit the rights of meat eaters. I speak my mind when I'm asked but I don't picket restaurants of leather goods shops.

That's wonderful that you exercise your right not to picket.  I don't picket either.  I speak my mind when the opportunity presents itself.  As do you, and not always when asked:

http://originaltrilogy.com/FORUM/topic.cfm/Random-Thoughts/post/525250/#TopicPost525250

And just so you know, if you chose to exercise your right to picket such establishments, I would be equally proud of you.  People have a right to advocate for what they believe in, and picketing (with appropriate permissions and permits) is a fine example of such a right.  As you and I have discussed numerous times in the past, our morals, our legal system is based very much on morals, which in a a very real sense, without a higher Lawgiver, are ultimately based on "I believe".  Sure, the level may be different, and scientific evidence may be used to back up the validity of a claim, but let's look at the near-universally accepted immorality of murder (referring to post-birth people).  There is evidence that shows that society functions better without murder.  But ultimately, is it really wrong?  Some could argue that killing should be more permissible, at least in more instances, as it would allow weaker members of our species to be weeded out and thus strengthen the gene pool and improve the longevity of our species as a whole.  But most of us go on the "I believe" feeling that really that is still not right.  More subtle could be things like sterilizing those who are genetically flawed, imposing population limits, reducing individual privacy rights, as there are arguments that such produce necessary positive results in spite of the negative repercussions.  But "I believe," and I presume you do as well, that such things are not right, and therefore we support and uphold  laws against them.

The winter Olympics drew attention to how the Russian Orthodox church is driving politics in that country also the Ugandan 'hang the homos' situation is being fueled by American Christian Evangelists. I'm sure you don't want a death list of women who have aborted pregnancies in your town but it comes from the same reflex against the advances in human rights over religious authority in the last four decades or so.

Yes, there are those who do this.  But it seems like a knee-jerk reaction to me to assume that because such extremism is present when looking at an issue from one angle, we must then assume that the extreme opposite view is correct.  To me, compromise between moderate views usually presents the most satisfactory results.

If I were a female Doctor who trained under the pretty corrupt regime of Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi only to find I now can't leave the house unattended or drive a car let alone find a cure for cancer because some tit with one eye on the bronze age says God says it's dirty, I'd be pretty pissed off.

Similarly I thank fate that I'm not an eleven year old girl raped in Chile and forced to carry full term based on the Catholic church's teaching.

Yep, people do that, governments do that.  It's very sad.  It's also impertinent to this discussion.  I do not advocate that.  I do not believe that because others do, we must therefore assume that abortion should be acceptable in most cases.  I pointed out Ireland many months ago to you.  Such extremism is not present everywhere.  And again, just because one extreme is false, it doesn't make the opposite extreme true.

These laws are based on feelings, myths and prejudices not on something measurable or provable.

You might as well bill the same gendered married for the floods in England.

Having a debate about religions or abortion or anything is fine but to expect civility when you call people who place examples of life experiences that challenge 'tummy feel' based ideas as nothing more than appeals for sympathy or attention is astonishingly brass-headed. Even if it is for a limited run and in lieu of alternative phrase.

Oh yeah, I addressed the sympathy thing before.  Oh, but then you doubt my sincerity, hence...

You started a thread about good news and reported your happy event, my happy event was a bumper crop of golden carrots. I grow my own food, getting a bumper crop is good news to me. But somehow this is what a dig at you or something?

You can't figure this sort of stuff out with out prompting?

Let me explain why I thought it was a dig.

Bingowings said:

Wouldn't it be funny if the baby had red hair just like my carrots...the colour...I don't have hairy carrots...oh now it sounds rude and weird and I didn't meen too.

To me it occurred that this might have been trying to get back at me.  "Oh look, I said something mean, oops I'm sorry, but not really."  At the same time, I wasn't sure since you make these silly comments a lot.  But you have a tendency to be very oblique, making your points with subtlety, sarcasm, analogy.  I honestly don't get what you mean more than just on this occasion (meaning, probably around 50% of the time when you are using such tactics, if not more).  I think it's quite fair that I was confused in this case.  Since it's obvious you don't believe my phrasing was not what  I'd intended, I thought perhaps the underlined phrasing above was meant to illustrate that.  Such is your style.

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Warbler said:

and I think the way you stated your opinion was rude.   You could easily have a found a much more polite way of telling he was wrong for saying what he said to Frink.   (notice that in critizing you for what you said to Ender, that I didn't use any rude terms like c**T)

 Oh, but Warbler, didn't you know that men who really respect women (the non-darth_enders of the world, as we know he tramples on their rights) are at liberty to make crude use of terms meaning female genitalia while maintaining their lofty status?

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darth_ender said:

Warbler said:

and I think the way you stated your opinion was rude.   You could easily have a found a much more polite way of telling he was wrong for saying what he said to Frink.   (notice that in critizing you for what you said to Ender, that I didn't use any rude terms like c**T)

 Oh, but Warbler, didn't you know that men who really respect women (the non-darth_enders of the world, as we know he tramples on their rights) are at liberty to make crude use of terms meaning female genitalia while maintaining their lofty status?

I didn't describe your wife as acting as a bit of a cunt for one post, possibly by accident (that would be reducing a human being down to her reproductive potential alone) I said it about you.

You are male so using the term on you is much the same as calling Warb and berk or Ric2 a twat.

Incendiary, certainly, insulting, probably but it's not to be a call back to the original use of the word. When a straight person is jokingly referred to as a faggot there is not actual fear of burning someone to death on the misunderstanding that they have sex with other men.

I'm not restricted by the commandment to "judge not" so I'm not being a hypocrite when I judge others as acting beneath their own standards.

It is, The thread where we make enemies out of friends, so clearly it's an on topic post.

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I understand the reasoning, but I don't much care for terms that refer to female parts.  I find it extremely crude and disrespectful, less to me, more to women.

That said, I don't want to be your enemy.  I have always liked you in spite of our vastly different opinions on so many subjects.  This isn't the first time I have misspoken.  I don't want that to ever ruin a friendship.

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Bingowings said:

darth_ender said:

Warbler said:

and I think the way you stated your opinion was rude.   You could easily have a found a much more polite way of telling he was wrong for saying what he said to Frink.   (notice that in critizing you for what you said to Ender, that I didn't use any rude terms like c**T)

 Oh, but Warbler, didn't you know that men who really respect women (the non-darth_enders of the world, as we know he tramples on their rights) are at liberty to make crude use of terms meaning female genitalia while maintaining their lofty status?

I didn't describe your wife as acting as a bit of a cunt for one post, possibly by accident (that would be reducing a human being down to her reproductive potential alone) I said it about you.

You are male so using the term on you is much the same as calling Warb and berk or Ric2 a twat.

not getting this.

Bingowings said:

Incendiary, certainly, insulting, probably

probably?  try certainly.

Bingowings said:

but it's not to be a call back to the original use of the word. When a straight person is jokingly referred to as a faggot there is not actual fear of burning someone to death on the misunderstanding that they have sex with other men.

so you therefore you would be ok with someone saying to a straight male that he was acting a bit of a f*****? I doubt this.

Bingowings said:

I'm not restricted by the commandment to "judge not" so I'm not being a hypocrite when I judge others as acting beneath their own standards.

judge someone if you have to, but you don't have to do so in the rude way that you did here.