RicOlie_2 said:

Looking good. There's one thing though, not a change as it was in your original post, but you have the blaster bolt that bounces off of 3PO's shoulder plate kill the Mandalorian. To me at least that seems a little bit slapstick and is maybe something you should avoid. Perhaps you could have the blaster bolt bounce off only to be harmlessly absorbed by the Mandalorian's armour or even remove the encounter altogether. Just a thought.

Yes, it's a bit slapstick, but I was trying to go for that; I thought it would help to put a little levity in a sequence that is otherwise pretty violent and serious.

I don't think making it so that the Mandalorian's armour absorbs the blaster bolt would work well (the Mandalorian could then just aim better and destroy Threepio outright, throwing the rest of his involvement in the story off). I could remove the encounter altogether, but then I'd have to figure out another way to introduce Threepio, and in a way that feels natural (having him just wake up and decide to go roaming around the ship, for example, would feel a bit random, like I was shoehorning the character in).