TIMELINE-7

PODD

July 5, 1967

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS

Having been born in 1967 instead of 1987, I was able to stal – er – meet Heather Langenkamp in the early 80’s and exterm – uh – outwit her other suitors for her heart. Then, using coerc – heh – affection, I got her to marry me.

We’re still happily married – the ball and chain and inescapable locked room in the basement have seen to that.

FINAL NOTES

I wonder … if I travel to Timeline-7, kill my counterpart, and free Heather, will she be grateful enough to fall in love with me? I guess I’ll just have to wait until the hypertime machine comes out of the shop before I can test that one, eh?