The Force is neutral most of the time... you run into trouble when you use it to force your will on others, dominate, and control them. Ever use of the 'mind trick' is persuasive or defensive. Even "go home and rethink your life" doesn't force the guy to change, just to think about it.
Same with tossing crap around or choking people- if you do it with proper Jedi cool, and in service to the Jedi's Defensive philosophy, then you're golden. If you do it out of anger, then you flirt with the Dark Side. Luke was 'making an entrance' in order to save someone, and he needed to impress on his "host" he wasn't to be trifled with- he needed to be in a position of strength the Hutt could understand. A quick choke to make his point (and remove an obstacle), and no "dark side point" earned. I think the lightning thing may be different- you have to really tap the dark side for that don't you? But the choke is the same order of power you would use to toss a brick- neutral except in how it is used.
-B