I like a lot of things in that mock up...

I think it is more or less nailed it with the fleet leaving endor as the way to go and cut the celebrations galaxy hopping.

Although I would shave that back a lot more.

The problem with ROTJ ending is that it tries to wrap everything into a neat bow and it really takes away from the ending that approach and does not leave any scope for life goes on. the mock up fixes a lot of that problem.

Just need some new celebration music and original ghost or no ghost.

The problem with the ghosts is that they fade Anakin in afterwards he should be there from the very start with Ben and Yoda if he appears. It was a bad idea and comes across as an after thought either they all show up together or only Ben and Yoda.