I stared down at the brown soupy mess and tried to decide if it was worth risking trying again or not. It had been nearly ten hours. A long ten hours. This fight had dragged on for my entire day off, and it had gone on long enough. I was sick of it! This had to end now! If it meant driving to Wal-Mart and buying one, so be it. It was hard to believe my flat mate and I had lived here for this long without having the occasion to need one, but clearly we hadn't. I had searched high and low, through every closet, and there was none to be found.
A trip to Wal-Mart is going to be at least a forty minute long excursion. I really didn't want it to come to that. I had urinated on it several times throughout the day, it had broken down and deteriorated, the brown log that had been my morning BM was now nothing but bowl full of brown water emitting an chokingly awful odor, but still the stubborn bastard persisted and wouldn't go down. Seriously, how had we lived here this long and never needed a plunger before? There went my week long dream of spending the entire day off in nothing but my underwear.
No, I worked to hard for this! Looked forward to it for far too long! I wasn't going to let my dream die without a fight! I wasn't going to let a bit of 10 hour old fecal matter I had been at war with since mere minutes after waking up ruin my dreams! It was risky, but I was going to give it another shot!
I held my breath, and positioned a finger over the knob. "Here goes nothing..." I muttered to myself. I quickly lowered into a position where I could start closing the valve if it started backing up too far. The last time it looked like it was going to be disastrous when it backed up right to the rim. I couldn't have another close call like that. If it overflowed and flooded the bathroom, my evening was going to be shot to hell, and I'd still have to make that journey to the dreaded Wal-Mart.
The smell was overwhelming. Why the hell did they have to put the valve back behind the commode? I hate engineers. Did they really fail to envision a scenario where someone might need to quickly shut off the valve to spare a backed up toilet from over flowing? Or did they envision it and found it a really fun practical joke to play on the world? Who the hell knew. I counted down from three, placed pressure on the knob, and prepared myself to crank the valve like my very sanity depended on it...
I watched as it backed up to the rim more quickly than I could have anticipated. Shit! Just as the panic was setting it, a deep brown whirlpool formed and the water levels began to drop. It worked! I let out a sigh of relief. Haha! I can't believe it, after all these hours, I've finally won! The fecal war of July 23rd was over!
I stood up and washed my hands really well, all the while thinking to myself, "Well, that's one for Xhonzi's minor miracles thread".