Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Nerd Edit (* unfinished project *)

How likes The Phantom Menace, but hates the way certain things are presented? Then you’ve come to the right place. This fan-edit will be the way TPM should have been. No Midi-Chlorians, Jar Jar, pointless dialogue. I will admit that I actually like the prequels. But not as much as the Original Trilogy. Now let’s get going.

The Phantom Nerd Edit will be using the Blu-ray version. Why? Well for several reasons. The visuals are a lot better, we see more of the movie sides, and there are a few Deleted Scenes that will be used. I will also use the DVD because it contains some Deleted Scenes that were actually pretty good. If anybody has any ideas or questions, feel free to leave them in a comment.

Updates:

• Change List: (note: the list is not complete yet. the former list is below)

1. A new opening title crawl.
2. The title crawl will be retimed to enter in the correct cue.
3. Nute’s “distract them” will be cut, but the rest of his line “I will…” will be kept.
4. Jar Jar will not be seen or heard. In fact, all the Gungans and the Gungan plot will be omitted in this edit.
5. Anakin’s home\building the podracer scenes will be edited to omit Jar Jar.
6. All shots of Yoda will be the CGI version.
7. Palpatine’s clothes will be changes to blu in a shot.
8. The battle sequences will be re-edited to match the order in the script. (See “Sequences Re-Edited” below)
9. The film ends after the shot of Palpatine during the funeral.
10. Credits will be inserted for anybody who has helped out. These include suggestions, technical help, editing, etc.

• Former List: (soon to be deleted)

1. A new opening title crawl.
2. <span>NO F@%#ING JAR JAR!!! He will be removed as well as the rest of the Gungans. The entire Gungan plot is going to be cut.</span>
3. <span>Only one Podrace lap. Most of all three laps will be included, but the scenes of them going threw the start\finish lines will be cut.</span>
4. <span>No Gungan vs Droid battle. The only battles will be the space battle, Jedi vs Sith and Padme & group vs Droids.</span>
5. <span>The lightsaber duel will be re-edited to be even faster and fiercer. As well as the battle sequences rearranged.</span>
6. <span>No more talk of there damn midi-chlorians. Didn’t Tarkin call the Force a religion. As a matter of face, I have Tarkin sitting right next to me. Hey Tarkin, is the force a religion. “Yes it is. I once said ‘The Jedi are extinct. Their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that’s left of their religion’.” Thank you Tarkin, I’m glad that this matter has been settled.</span>
7. <span>The end credits will be slightly faster. Everybody who was a cast or crew member will be named. Also, credits will be inserted that include anybody who helped out on this edit.</span>
8. <span>All of the battle droids long dialogue (as in the scenes “don’t worry, if they’re down here…” and “where are you taking them…uh coruscant…you under arrest”) will be replaced with the simple “roger roger” and “blast them” lines.</span>
9. <span>Tusken Raiders will take out more than just one Podracer, they’ll take out about 3 or 4. Sebulba won’t start cheating until it’s just him and Anakin.</span>
10. <span>NEW ENDING! This is how it will end: Qui-Gon will have his funeral. Yoda and Mace will talk about which Sith was destroyed, the master or the apprentice. A shot of Palpatine will then follow, then the credits start. The Parade reveals to many Gungans. The shot of Palpatine silently tells which Sith was actually destroyed and which Sith lives on.</span>
11. CGI Yoda will be used.
12. Before Darth Maul is sliced in half, he will have a very short battle with Obi-Wan.

• Deleted Scenes That Will Be Used:

1. Complete Podrace Gride Sequence (DVD) Some things will be cut
2. Extended Podrace Lap Two (DVD) Some things will be cut
3. The Air Taxi Sequence (DVD)
4. Dawn Before The Podrace (DVD)
5. Anakin Scruffles With Greedo (DVD)
6. Farewell To Jira (DVD)
7. Lightsaber Duel Shots (DVD Documentary)
8. Various space battle shots (DVD Documentary)
9. Anakin’s Return (Blu-ray) The shot of the starship landing will be fixed and the Blue Screen shots will also be fixed
10. Extended Podrace Wager (Blu-ray)

• Deleted Scenes That Will Not Be Used:

1. The Water Fall Sequence (DVD)
2. <span style=“line-height: normal;”>Trash Talking Droids (Blu-ray)</span>
3. <span style=“line-height: normal;”>The Battle Is Over (Blu-ray)</span>
4. <span style=“line-height: normal;”>Battle On The Boarding Ramp (Blu-ray)</span>
5. <span style=“line-height: normal;”>Bail Organa Of Alderran (Blu-ray)</span>

• Sequences Re-Edited:

1. <span style=“font-size: 12px;”>The Battle Of Naboo: </span>Nute, Rune, and Maul talk to Sidious. Padmé’s group and the Jedi sneak back to the palace. The AAT is destroyed and the battle begins. Padmé’s group rush into the hangar and start blasting droids. Nute and Rune think the battle is way to close. Anakin looks for a good hiding place. The Naboo starfighters leave the hangar. Padmé’s group start to head to the throne room. The Jedi start to battle the Sith. Anakin sees the Destroyer Droids begin to fire. Anakin starts up the ship and blasts them. The duel continues. Padmé’s group rush into the hall to go the long ways. Anakin begins to blast off into outer space. The duel continues again. The Naboo starships engage the Vulture Droids. Anakin spots the space battle. The duel goes into the power generator area. Padmé says they need to hurry and Panaka blasts the window. Anakin fights in the battle. The Naboo starfighters fire on the central control tower. Anakin is hit and crash-lands in the Droid Control Ship. Obi-Wan gets knocked of the ledge and he runs to catch up to Qui-Gon. The Jedi and Sith get trapped in the force fields. Padmé and her group run down the hall and get ambushed by Droids. Qui-Gon and Darth Maul fight and Qui-Gon gets hit. Nute tells Padmé it’s time to sign the treaty. Padmé tells Nute it’s time to sign a new treaty. Obi-Wan and Darth Maul fight. Obi-Wan gets knocked into the it. Obi-Wan uses the force to leap and kill Maul. Qui-Gon dies. Anakin lands in the Naboo Hangar.

The Nerd said:

So, I'm starting super edit of TPM. Here's a list of stuff I'm doing. If anybody has any ideas or questions, feel free to leave them in a comment.

Here's the list of a few things:

1. A new opening title crawl.
2. The Naboo invasion immediately starts after the title crawl. The Jedi arrive at the Federation Command Ship and then Sidious tells Nute Gunray to kill them.
3. NO F@%#ING JAR JAR!!! This is half true and half false. He will only take 6 lines and that is at the beginning. Other than that, he will be seen and not heard, all Gungan gags will be removed.
4. Only one Podrace lap. Most of all three laps will be included, but the scenes of them going threw the start\finish lines will be cut.
5. No Gungan vs Droid battle. The only battles will be the space battle, Jedi vs Sith and Padme & group vs Droids.
6. A few deleted scenes will be included to make up for some of the time for the cut Gungan scenes. These will be "Farewell To Jira", "Dawn Before The Podrace", and "Anakin Scruffles With Greedo", as well as a few cut shots that can be seen in the trailers, like this one: http://www.theforce.net/episode1/newspics/cut_naboo_fighter_hit.jpg
7. The lightsaber duel will be re-edited to be even faster and fiercer. As well as the battle sequences rearranged.
8. No more talk of there damn midi-chlorians. Didn't Tarkin call the Force a religion. As a matter of face, I have Tarkin sitting right next to me. Hey Tarkin, is the force a religion. "Yes it is. I once said 'The Jedi are extinct. Their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion'." Thank you Tarkin, I'm glad that this matter has been settled.
9. The end credits will be shorter. Only the big shots will get named. In face, only characters that were played be actual human beings will be listed, this includes puppets. No CGI characters will be listed, except for Watto because some guy played his part and they water added the CGI Watoo over the actor. Jar Jar will NOT be listed at all, he's not cool enough to get credit.
10. All of the battle droids long dialogue (as in the scenes "don't worry, if they're down here..." and "where are you taking them...uh coruscant...you under arrest") will be replaced with the simple "roger roger" and "blast them" lines.
11. Jabba the Hutt will not be seen. Why? Because people, including myself, had to wait a long time to finally see what Jabba looked like in ROTJ. He was mentioned in ANH and TESB, but the mystery of what he looked like remained until we saw him. So he won't be seen at all in my edit.
12. Tusken Raiders will take out more than just one Podracer, they'll take out about 3 or 4. Sebulba won't start cheating until it's just him and Anakin.
13. NEW ENDING! This is how it will end: Qui-Gon will have his funeral. Yoda and Mace will talk about which Sith was destroyed, the master or the apprentice. A shot of Palpatine will then follow, then the credits start. The Parade reveals to many Gungans. The shot of Palpatine silently tells which Sith was actually destroyed and which Sith lives on.

 

Things I'm thinking about:

1. CGI or Puppet Yoda. Either way, Frank Oz will be listed in the credits because he truly deserves credit.
2. Renaming it to "The Beginning" as that was the original title.
3. [more to come...]

I finished an edit of TPM a few weeks ago that sounded quite similar to these ideas (Apart from the strikethroughs above).  But I scrapped it and started again as the film felt a bit 'hollowed out'. My cut had Jar-Jar with no lines or sounds or cameras pointing at him (He was lurking in a few shots towards the back lol).

After that version was binned I've edited a new cut called TPM:Reborn (Plus episodes II & III of course).

Hope you have fun with your edit! (I sure had fun with mine!)

TV's Frink said:

Removing credits....not cool IMO.

IMO also. Lots of crafts-people worked for those credits

Well, true. Quite true. Well, I could include all the credits, but going at a faster speed. It's something to think about.

Why do you have to adjust the credits at all? Why not just leave them alone?

thecolorsblend said:

Why do you have to adjust the credits at all? Why not just leave them alone?

Well, I've thought about it and I want to change them to now include uncredited cast/crew members, as well as insert credits for anybody who helps out on it. Whether it's an idea, a video clip, etc. I've now updated the # in the list explaining the credits.

So I've done some calculating with the DVD version today, and I'll be able to cut off around 30 minutes so far. This is mostly the Jar Jar and Gungan scenes. The Gungan plot is going to be completely removed.

I haven't started editing the Blu-ray version. That's the version I'll be using because it basically has some of what I want fixed.

Click below to see an abandoned draft of my edit with the Gungans removed (Via Vimeo)...

SW: Reborn - The battle of Theed ''No Gungans'' early draft

Cut out the Boss Nass meeting too and thats pretty much it. Does make the film zip along.

Darth Lars said:

If I were you I would cut the "Roger Roger" during the battle. If there is a control ship controlling the droids then voice communication is needed only for interacting with people and droids who are not part of the droid army.

 

The Nerd said:

Only one Podrace lap. Most of all three laps will be included, but the scenes of them going threw the start\finish lines will be cut.

Please tell me that you are cutting out the two-headed commentator.

Jabba the Hutt will not be seen. Why? Because people, including myself, had to wait a long time to finally see what Jabba looked like in ROTJ. He was mentioned in ANH and TESB, but the mystery of what he looked like remained until we saw him. So he won't be seen at all in my edit.

Hear hear!

Well, for the "Roger roger", I was going to (1) keep the shot but mute the line and restore the music, or (2) move it some where in the hangar battle.

The 2-headed alien will and will not be cut. What I mean is that he will be heard saying some lines, like "anakin is forced on to the service ramp" and "looks like some tusken raiders...". The alien is suppose to be comic-relief, and it is, to an extent. Some lines like "that has got to hurt" and "the crowd goes nuts" are not needed.

I actually reconsidered my decision of cutting out Jabba. So I'll be inserting him back in.

Does anybody know how to get the video files off of a Blu-ray Disc?

Thanks Frink. Reading it, it sounds complex, but probably not. The one thing it did not tell me was this: do you put the BD in the Blu-ray player or the ROM tray on the computer itself?

I also just found one that might work well with my mac: http://mac.appstorm.net/how-to/video-how-to/how-to-rip-blu-rays-on-a-mac-a-complete-guide/. This might also come in handy for me.

TV's Frink said:

Allow me to rephrase...

...

Dad, what are you doing on the internet?

Is that some kind of joke perhaps?

^ It's an old gag but all the best ones are...

Ryan McAvoy said:

^ It's an old gag but all the best ones are...

Haha. Funny!

I've updated the list slightly. Tomorrow I will post a short list of the major scenes and shots that I'll be cutting from the edit as well as some shots, like jar jar's "did he crashed", that will be altered to remove a certain someone.