Warbler said:
Gaffer Tape said:
Warbler said:
you make one error: you assume that because you can't figure out any good reason for not doing something, that no reason exists.
And you make one error: you assume that I assume that. ;-)
but you do, that is why you wear dresses. You can't figure out a good reason why men shouldn't wear dresses, you assume there isn't one, then you put a dress on.
No. I put a dress on because I want to wear a dress. I like it. It's comfortable. I think it's pretty. And considering those reasons, as far as I'm concerned, it's not an assumption there isn't a good reason. It's a fact!
And, again, Warb, learn the difference between a skirt and a dress. They are not two words to be used interchangeably. They are two entirely different things, and not in the sense of a skirt and a kilt or jeans and khakis.
Ahem. Now that that's out of the way.
I seem to have missed quite a bit of this thread while I was at work today. I was quite pleased to see the topic has continued so passionately, and it's nice that Warb apparently has more people to balance out his side, but I have to say that Hey, It's Me is approaching this topic so aggressively like he has some kind of personal vendetta against it, and I admit it's becoming a bit uncomfortable for me to read his posts. And that's not in the sense that his expressing a dissenting viewpoint is uncomfortable, but that the way he's expressing it is beginning to feel almost like a personal attack, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. That's not to say I can't handle it. If I can handle my mother regularly telling me I'm a disgrace and embarrassment to the family, then I can certainly handle an anonymous person on the Internet implying it. :-)
One point he did make, though, that I do agree with is the notion of clothes not defining who a person is. Hell, I agree with that entirely, and it was actually a part of the epiphany I related last night. Clothing and fashion are an artform and a means of personal expression. That people routinely and systematically judge others on their clothing choices, that fashion indeed has so many "rules," is asinine and really angers me. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if we all went starkers, and I love John Lennon's quote from his "bagism" philosophy: "If everyone went in a bag for a job there'd be no prejudice: you'd have to judge people on their quality within." I completely agree with that. To judge and evaluate someone on their clothing choices... well, it ties back into that simplicity argument. It's much easier to create an outward standard, something you can just look at and assign a value to, rather than having to actually THINK about anything. As far as I'm concerned, judging someone on a job interview by their clothing is analogous to hiring or not hiring someone based on what their favorite movie is or what kind of paintings they have in their house. And so part of my reason to not give a crap what arbitrary gender assignment goes with clothing was my realization that the "rules" of fashion are, again, just something somebody made up. I refuse to be defined by my clothes, or to let my clothes define me.
Also, I don't know if you know this, but it's not always easy to go out in public breaking social norms. That's why most people, and I'm just going to go ahead and say this, don't have the courage to do so. And believe me, I'm not just saying that. I told you I have so many stories about things that have happened to me while engaging in gender nonconformist behavior. To my surprise, one of the most common reactions I got were from men saying, and I quote, "Man, that's awesome! I wish I had the balls to do that!" And just to let that point really sink in, let me inform you that I was in MISSISSIPPI! But, yes, it takes courage. There are a lot of positive reactions, but you are usually very aware of the negative ones as well. You know people are constantly looking at you, and sometimes that's easier to deal with than others. But here's something about me: while I was a very extroverted child, when I entered middle school and was hit with the slings and arrows of adolescent behavior, I became very self-conscious, very aware of the possibilities of judgment, and very eager to do everything in my power to not do anything that could possibly get me made fun of by anyone at any time. And as a result, I didn't take any chances. I couldn't step out of my comfort zone. I never got anything done. I was too afraid of failure. Too afraid of what other people would think. So another reason I chose not to conform to gender norms is because it forced me to not be that person anymore. It forced me to increase my level of my confidence and learn not to give a shit what other people thought of me. Because you have to. I have learned from personal experience that if you step outside in a skirt or dress and look ashamed or embarrassed or fidgety, people are going to tear you apart. But if you do it with your head held high and never let them even think there's anything out of the ordinary, people are going to respect you.