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C3PX's Bioshock 3

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Somewhere lost in the depths for a this forum, probably the Video Games Thread (?), Xhonzi and I talked about what we would like to see in a sequel to Bioshock 2.

I really like the idea of it taking place on an island, following a group of scientists who fled the city of Rapture when they witnessed the foreshadowing of the misuse of plasmids, and realized the likely outcomes of this unchecked power. They took some of the symbiotic sea slugs with them, and settled on a remote island with the intent of continuing research into ADAM.

At one point I got the idea of developing this into a short piece of fiction, then decided I wasn't really into it, wasn't sure where to take the story, and decided to scrap it.

In the interest of sharing what I did come up with, here is what I came up with.

 

Chapter one was going to introduce us to the protagonist and to briefly tell the events leading up to his washing up on the shore of this remote island. 

In chapter two the protagonist was to venture into the jungle and have a run in with giant mutated boars, my idea for a replacement for the Big Daddies of Rapture, as guardians of the ADAM carrying hosts. The protagonist gets torn up by them, and while trying to escape, stumbles on a clearing in the jungle with a fancy looking Victorian style house. The protagonist runs to the house for safety, finds the front door locked, kicks it in, staggers inside, and passes out.

Chapter three, being the only chapter I completed a rough draft of, I will post here.

It is nothing exciting, mostly long pieces of dialogue in desperate need of trimming down.

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 (Edited)

CHAPTER THREE

 

I don’t know how long I was out for. My head was throbbing, my eyelids were heavy, and my shoulder was in sheer burning agony where the beast’s teeth had sunk into it and tore away the flesh. It took me a while to adjust to my settings. A fireplace. Walls covered in maps and diagrams. The smell of burning tobacco. I tried to move, but my whole body protested. I must have let out an audible groan, because at that moment a cheerful voice shouted out the words, “Ah, very good! You are awake!” Each syllable felt like a hammer beating me on the head. The man wore a collared shirt, spectacles, had unkempt shaggy hair parted in the middle, and held a lit pipe in his left hand.

“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. William Caldwell.”

Good, there is a doctor on this island, first lucky thing to happen to me all week. I quickly set about introducing myself, “I’m Daniel Reid. What’s my condition, doctor?”

“Oh, pardon me. I am not that kind of a doctor. I am a bio-geneticist. I, uh, you are going to live, if that is what you are afraid of. The shoulder looks pretty bad, but you are quite lucky to still be alive, if you ask me.”

Great, not so lucky after all. “Where the hell am I? And what the hell were those things that attacked me?”

“First off, I shall remind you that you appeared on my island, literally broke through my front door, and bleed on my rug before passing out. I do love guests, but I typically like to get to know them a little before we get this chummy. I’ve taken the liberty of bandaging your wounds and giving you some analgesics. The bleeding has stopped, and you are stable. There is no urgency to the situation. I would very much like to hear your story and how you came to my island before I go into the details of where the hell you are.”

I didn’t see any point in telling the man the entire truth. The people I was involved with, how the deal went bad, how they cast me overboard to die. Instead, I was just a normal boring old fisherman, unlucky enough to be got caught in a bad storm five nights ago. My boat capsized, my partner was lost, I alone escaped on the life raft and drifted for days before it sprung a leak. I thought I was dead, and the next thing I knew I woke up on the beach, somehow spared by the ocean. At least that last part was true. I told him everything after that point just as it has happened, from my encounter with those monsters, to running through his front door seeking safety.

“Well, now that I know a little about you… It is nice to meet you, Mr. Reid. Welcome to my island. I am sorry it has been a rough stay so far, we do not get a lot of guests around here. Now to answer your question of where the hell you are. I have often paused from my work in the evenings, musing about how I would explain this place to any guests who might arrive here. Prior to now, I have never had the pleasure. There have been signs of visitors prior to yourself, but unfortunately, you are the first who has managed to stumble upon my compound before meeting a tragic end. My creations have proven to be effective security.”

“Are you saying you somehow made those abominations? And they’ve been killing people? I assume you don’t lose any sleep over that at night?”

The strange man’s eyes narrowed and he seemed to be grinding his teeth as he glared at me silently for a few moments before speaking again, “Do not come into my home and judge me, sir! You certainly have the manners one would come to expect of a fisherman. My guardians are intended to protect a very precious substance. I will forgive you your blatant rudeness this once, as I imagine you feel you have washed up on the shores of hell itself.”

“You’ll have to forgive me, I’ve had kind of a bad day.” I was trying to appease him, but realized my words came out more than a little caustic. I decided keeping the conversation going would be a good idea, “Precious substance?”

“Yes, in the right hands it could reshape the world as we know it. Illness. Disease. Dysfunction. Deformity. Age. They could all become things of the past. Imagine what mankind could achieve if our greatest minds could go on living forever? Our bodies more youthful than yours or mine, even after thousands of years on this earth. Our children immune to disease. Our flesh impervious to harm. But in the wrong hands—Well, it could still reshape the word—But in ways I cringe to think about. It has a high potential for abuse. So many applications, not all of which have the greater good in mind.”

“And those monsters out there are guarding that?”

“The female wild pig has a strong motherly instinct to protect her young. This precious substance comes from a very rare deep-sea creature. It is symbiotic by nature, and requires a living host. By genetically modifying female sus scrofa, inseminating them, and planting my symbiotes into their unborn offspring, I have created a flawless system to simultaneously cultivate and secure this substance as I continue to do my research. Someday, when I can fully understand it, and ensure prevention of its abuse, I will return to civilization with it and reign in a new era of scientific discovery and achievement.”

“Those beasts are the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen in my life! What could you possibly be trying to protect this stuff from? More “visitors” like me? Trust me pal, when I showed up on your little island, I was just trying to save myself from becoming fish food. How would anybody even know about this stuff you’ve discovered, or what you think it is capable of, in order to even want to steal it from you? You’re on an uncharted island in the middle of the damn ocean!”

“I cannot take credit for discovering it myself. It was discovered by brilliant men in the most magnificent and terrifying city mankind has ever dreamt to build. I lived there for a time. It was seeing the way this discovery was used there that led me to flee from that place and find somewhere new to do my research.”

“If this stuff is already being researched on and used in someplace, and if it is as incredible as you say it is, aren’t you a little late to the show? The world is a small place these days, pal, with airplanes you can fly from one continent to the other in matters of hours. You’ve been isolated here for how long? How do you know it isn’t already on the market in some countries?”

He chuckled to himself, and spoke with a tone of condescension, “It is not the sort of city you can get to by plane. Nor is it the kind of place that shares its discoveries with the rest of the world. There were several of us who left this place. We were all once likeminded. We were working toward a common goal. Some have remained loyal to our cause, and you will get to meet them eventually. Others, like my traitorous wife, my backstabbing former best friend, and a few others have decided they see things differently. They want this stuff for their own selfish motives. Bunch of junkies. There were native inhabitants on this island before we arrived. My former colleagues have established themselves as gods among them, manipulating them, making them bow to their every whim. It is from them that I must protect this stuff. Also, we did not exactly leave my former home on the best of terms, it is a possibility that some from there may try to find us and destroy our research. I suppose, to some degree, I feel a need to protect it from accidental passersby, such as yourself, as well. If someone stumbled on it not knowing its power and took it back to the mainland, who knows what kind of hands it might fall into. My mutations may seem excessive, brutal, and grotesque, but I reassure you, they stand between the potential of much greater ills.”

There was an awkward silence before he spoke again, “How are you feeling?”

“Like hell. Your monsters did a number on me. If I can’t get to a real medical doctor anytime soon, I’m not sure I’ll ever get much use out of this shoulder again.”

“What if I told you I could make your shoulder better than it was when you arrived here?”

“I guess I’d say I don’t have a whole lot to lose at this point.”

“I’ll be blunt. You are on a remote island out of radio range of any shipping routes. We have worthy vessel to take you to someplace where you can more easily hitch a ride home, but it is in disrepair and is going to need quite a bit of work. If you are willing to provide us with a much needed extra set of hands for some things we need done around here, we can make getting you home a much higher priority. Nothing major, gathering materials for the boat repairs, as well as for some of our experiments, mostly. What do you say? Room and board are included.” He grinned widely at his last comment.

I thought about it for a few moments. My situation was pretty dire. By all rights, I should have drowned out there. I needed time for my shoulder to heal, and I had no hope of getting home without this man’s help. “Sounds like a deal to me” I agreed, holding out my hand. He stared at it for a moment, as if he’d forgotten what the gesture meant, before finally reaching out his own to shake it, “My good sir, I have a feeling you are going to make a fine temporary addition to our team.”

 

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 (Edited)

The story was to proceed with the protagonist being sent on a few tasks by Dr. Caldwell. Meeting Caldwell's colleges. And eventually being sent to retrieve something from the other group of former Rapture inhabitants, being led by Caldwell's wife and former best friend, who both "betrayed" him. This group was to have continued down the same road of plasmid abuse that was seen in Rapture, using it for fun, pleasure, and as weapons. They were also going to display the kind of desperate junkie desire/need for ADAM that was seen by the splicers. This group won over the native islanders by demonstrating their ability to use "magic" and now have essentially a whole army at their disposal, some of which have been taught how to use plasmids themselves. I figured as the story went on, this group might start to display signs of being "spliced up".

From them Reid would be introduced to plasmids and begin using them himself, and learn that Dr. Caldwell hadn't been entirely honest with him about everything. He'd find himself caught in the middle of a power struggle between the two groups of former Rapture scientist, uncovering the mysteries of what was going on, and trying to figure out which group was more trustworthy, or the lesser of two evils.

That is really as far into the story as I ever mapped out. I ran out of ideas, and realized I was wasting my time on what was simply fanfiction, something I've never been too fond of, my heart wasn't in it, my writing was sucking, and I just kind of dropped it.

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Is Dr. Caldwell played by Bingowings?

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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I quite like it. True, it's very dialogue heavy, but the dialogue isn't bad (I've certainly read worse.) For some reason, the way Dr. Caldwell was written I kept reading him in Stephen Fry's voice. :/

There's nothing really wrong with writing fan fiction, it does get quite a bad reputation because the majority of it is awful. But there are some gems inside the manure pile that is fan fiction, it just requires digging and a talent for telling stories. As well as good spelling, there are loads of fan fics I've seen with terrible spelling and punctuation.

<span style=“font-weight: bold;”>The Most Handsomest Guy on OT.com</span>

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Thank, Greenie. Glad you liked it.

The reason for the long dialogue was that I was trying to squeeze an outline of all my ideas I had for the story into it as quickly as possible, before I forgot about them. All the story elements I wanted are referenced in this segment, kind of setting the ground rules. It refers back to everything that happened before this moment, and sets up the stuff I intended to come next. Had I continued it, this section would have been rewritten, removing a lot of detail and leaving more mystery to be unraveled as the story went on. For example, the fact that the leader of the other group is Dr. Mrs. Caldwell probably would have been removed and instead reveled to Reid when he meets her in person. And later the fact that her lover is Dr. Caldwell's former best friend, maybe even the fact that this group is splicing, and that they have a whole tribe of islanders on their side, would have probably been saved for Reid to discover on his own as well.

 

DuracellEnergizer said:

C3PX? Is he a relative or replicant of yours?

C3PX was this really cool former member here who I always really liked. Hands down the coolest member these forums has ever had! He left the forum some time ago. When I decided to stop lurking and start posting, I decided to take a similar name, make up some story about how I am him and had to make a new account because I lost my password, and pass myself off as him. Everyone seemed to buy it easily enough, so I just kept up the charade. Shhh, don't tell anyone.

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For Saturday, I'm picking Louisville in a blowout and Syracuse in a close one.

 

Louisville by eight on Monday.  The power of the compound fracture compels them!