darth_ender said:
In other words, I can't believe in something just because of some intangible feelings.
Yeah. Why would you believe something from an intangible feeling? Especially if that intangible feeling had very good reason to exist because everyone around pressed it into you from a young age.
It took me a long time to make the leap from theist to agnostic. It had been hammered into me from a young age. Bible stories at bedtime, Sunday school each week, say your prayers before bedtime and at every meal. I often felt guilty when I'd fall asleep before I finished praying. Sometimes I'd nod off in the middle of my prayer, and then I'd apologize and start over. It seemed unspeakably rude to nod off while talking to the creator and ruler of the Universe.
I spent a period of time still being a "theist" while not really believing before I became comfortable enough to admit to myself I was an agnostic. I went to church every Sunday, and I still prayed sometimes. One night, I met this really fun and attractive blond, we hit it off and talked for hours. Eventually we went back to her place, stayed up half the night watching movies, started making out, and things escalated. I woke up beside her the next morning, the sun shining golden on her curly hair and reflecting off the smooth skin of her naked body. I felt overwhelmed with warmth, excitement, happiness, anticipation. As it should be. No guilt. I'd always felt guilt in the past, even when things didn't go anywhere near as far as they had gone the night before. That day I was able to admit to myself that I was agnostic.
In other words, I came to believe this in part because of some intangible feelings. Yes, feelings of happiness at having a sexual encounter without guilt. Feelings that if God was real, he'd surely be scolding me now. Yep, I had good feelings, so agnosticism must be true.
I don't mean to belittle your experience, but this sounds a lot like "witnessing."
I guess you didn't get what I was saying with my story. Perhaps I should have ensured the point was clearer. Let me attempt to clarify now.
My point was nowhere along the lines of, "an intangible feeling' convinced me there was no God". I was saying that I didn't believe in God, and that it took me a rather lengthy amount of time before I could let go of it all.
So more accurately:
In other words, that "intangible feeling" that told me God was real, that was deeply instilled in me throughout childhood, eventually faded; and it took that before I could admit to myself that I didn't believe.
It took me a few more years to accept the word "atheist", as I found it generally distasteful. Now I realize, by definition, that is what I am, and I don't resist it anymore.
Ultimately, I was saying that this feeling of "just knowing" that you guys talk about, I totally had it too (Or at least, I feel that what I felt was very similar to what several of your have described). Only, I now attribute it to the much more tangible concept of enculturation; rather than a sign or indicator from a supernatural source.
And completely unimportant to the above point, but just to clarify a little more, least my character and values be understood to be less than they are, it wasn't about having feelings of happiness because I had a sexual encounter. It was that happiness that comes from a new relationship, from having met a person you really hit it off with and can't wait to see again, the anticipation of wanting to see what the future might bring, the acceptance that it may end in heartache, and the feeling that even if it does it'll totally be worth it, etc. Previously those exciting emotions would have been overshadowed by my feelings of guilt (not a deity scolding me, but an ill feeling of having violated my own personal mores), and when for the first time they weren't, it surprised me and led me to admit to myself that I really didn't believe anymore, a reality I tried to hid from myself for a period.