The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

It never fails to amaze me at how great my tastes have evolved since I was a kid; I found this film awesome and entertaining when I saw it way back in 2001/2002, but now I find it largely distasteful and more than a little annoying.

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Unlike with its predecessor, I don't feel any great disappreciation for this film. Sure, it doesn't feel as dynamic as it used to, and the female protagonist seems a bit weaker than the way I remembered, but overall I think it's a decent sequel (truth be told, I think its better than the original, which I found rather weak).

Candyman (1992)

Yet another film that doesn't feel as strong as it used to. Beyond that, though, it's a solid movie, with a well-crafted story, a competent cast, and an awesome score.

Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Truth be told, I never really liked this movie, and it its only gotten worse with time (my disenchantment with zombie films in general most definately has something to do with this). The best thing I can say about this film is that the zombie makeup/props is/are well-crafted. Also, as an aside, the whole plot of the movie just serves to remind me of why I can never suspend my disbelief when it comes to scientific explanations/origins for zombies; yes, I know this film is all tongue-in-cheek and isn't meant to be taken at all seriously, but still ...

Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)

Andrew Divoff was awesome in this, and I loved pretty much each scene he showed up in. Unfortunately, the rest of the film wasn't so hot, and the end was just downright awful. This sequel certainly wasn't as good as the original.

Hellraiser (1987)

I found this movie decent, and that's all I can really say about it - it left me neither hot nor cold. I suppose I could bring up Ashley Laurence's hair - which I felt looked rather awful throughout most of the film - but that's an unimportant detail that has no real bearing in the greater scheme of things. All in all, I am left with an interest to read the novella this was based on.

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

What a great big meh this movie was - I find it hard to believe I felt any great enthusiasm for it back when I was a kid. The giant CG spiders quickly grow dull, and none of the characters are all that interesting. For one reason or another, I felt that the end shot - a close-up of a grinning conspiracy theorist's gold-capped teeth - sums this movie up perfectly. This would have been so much better had Scarlett Johansson been the one tasered in the crotch and then eaten by the monster arachnids.

Arachniphobia (1990)

Now this is how evil spider movies should be done - with real spiders and props, no CG whatsoever. This was definately a fun movie, and one I'd love to watch again. The only downside I saw to this film was the ending; I just can't see eye-to-eye with anyone who would choose to live in the cold, dead city over lush, rustic areas.

Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)

I don't know if this movie was slighty better than its predecessor or only stupid in other ways; regardless, it still wasn't a good movie. It was amusing to see the guy who played Bobby from Twin Peaks in this, though, and the redhead in the denim skirt was appeasingly hot (sigh ... and I don't even like rating movies based on sex appeal).

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

*sigh* ... yet another movie that doesn't live up to the appreciations of youth. Roger is definately more annoying to me now as an adult, and I finally understand why Eddie couldn't stand the spastic twerp. Another aspect of the film that doesn't jive with me anymore is the live action-animation combo - it's all so unsettingly surreal. On the upside, though, I still find the performances of Bob Hoskins and Christopher Lloyd strong (Judge Doom isn't as menacing to me as he used to be, though, unfortunately).

The 13th Warrior (1999)

I liked this film. Plot was decent, and the location shots were beautiful. I can't really buy Banderas as an Arab, though.

Spaceballs (1987)

I really don't see why so many people like this parody. I find stuff like "Barf", "Yogurt", and "the Schwartz" far from funny - it's either juvenilely stupid or just plain unfunny. Pizza the Hutt was amusing, though, I'll give it that.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949)

It gets good once the Headless Horseman shows up. The stuff preceeding it is pretty meh, however.

The Punisher (2004)

I really liked this film, and I wish more comic books films were made this way. The character development was well done, and I loved how Castle manipulated the Saints and their people into doing his job for him. It's a shame Thomas Jane never got to reprise his role in a sequel; I'd definately would have loved to see where they would have gone with his story.

Deadtime Stories (1986)

A mediocre anthology horror film that deserves its obscurity. The first story was decent, but the second was lame and the third outright stupid. The song in the opening credits was awesome, though.

Crossworlds (1996)

The concept of parallel universes is so incredibly ripe for storytelling, so why do pretty much all films that centre around the concept seem so incredibly poor? There's nothing about this movie that's enduring - not even Rutger Hauer brings anything worthy to the plate. The worst thing about this movie is that I can see, with a few minor adjustments, how this could have been so much better.