Berserk! (1967)
In theory this should be ideal for me or the very least Frink's So Bad It's Good Thread.
Joan Crawford, Michael Gough, Diana Dors, Robert Hardy, Philip Madoc and George (Oomba Loompa) Claydon in a gory slasher/melodrama set in a circus with an intelligent poodle act?
What the film needed was a director with an eye for the perverse and good ironic dialogue timing.
John Waters could have made this the masterpiece it deserves to be.
Sadly Jim (Valley Of The Gwangi) O'Connolly can barely lift this film above the level of a tedious curio.
The poodles are good, the best bit.
1 tent peg.
Monster In The Closet (1986).
It's the eighties and something popping in and out of the closet in the San Francisco area is defying science and killing people.
The cry is DESTROY ALL CLOSETS!!
Sadly everyone goes back to their closets eventually but it was a brief moment of sanity in an insane world.
The film is the only Troma film I've actually enjoyed.
Four Glockenspiels.
Wishing Stairs aka Yeogogoedam 3: Yeowoogyedan (2003).
It's the third entry in the Whispering Corridors series of South Korean spooky flicks set in girl's schools.
As such it's neither as spooky as the first film or as well observed in terms of characters as the second.
It's still okay but it's more cartoonish.
Basically there are a flight of 28 steps leading to the sculpture hut on the school grounds.
School tradition goes that if you count the steps as you climb them a 29th step will magically appear and grant your wish if it touches the spirit of the steps.
So be careful what you wish for... etc
2 Cakes.