Ah, baseball! It reminds me of the classic Abbott & Costello "Who's On First" routine. They've done different versions from different movies. But here's the full version from The Naughty Nineties (1945). It goes like this:

Lou Costello: "I love baseball."

Bud Abbott: "Well, we all love baseball."

Costello: "When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' names on the team? So when I see them in that St. Louis ball park, I'll be able to know those fellows?"

Abbott: "Well, now-- Is it all right, folks? All right.

Costello: "I want to find out the fellows' names."

Abbott: "As long as it's okay with the audience."

Costello: "I'm crazy about baseball."

Abbott: "Will you stand still? Pick up your hat. Go pick up your hat! Now look! Then you'll go peddle your popcorn and don't interrupt the act anymore?"

Costello: "Yes, Sir."

Abbott: "You know? Strange as it may seem, the give ball players very peculiar names."

Costello: "Funny names?"

Abbott: "Nicknames. Pet names."

Costello: "Not as funny as my name-- Sebastian Dinwiddle."

Abbott: "Oh, yes, yes, yes."

Costello: "Funnier than that? Whoo!"

Abbott: "Oh, absolutely. Yes now, on the St. Louis team, we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third--"

Costello: "That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team."

Abbott: "I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I don't know's on third--

Costello: "You know the fellows' names?"

Abbott: "Yes."

Costello: "Well then, who's playing first?"

Abbott: "Yes!"

Costello: "I mean, the fellow's name on first base."

Abbott: "Who!"

Costello: "Thee guy on first base."

Abbott: "Who is on first."

Costello: Well, what are you asking me for?"

Abbott: I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Who is on first!"

Costello: "I'm asking you who's on first."

Abbott: "That's the man's name."

Costello: "That's who's name?"

Abbott: "Yes."

Costello: "Well, go ahead and tell me."

Abbott: "Who!"

Costello: "The guy on first."

Abbott: "Who!"

Costello: "The first baseman."

Abbott: "Who is on first."

Costello: "Have you got a first baseman on first?"

Abbott: "Certainly!"

Costello: "Then who's playing first?"

Abbott: "Absolutely!"

Costello: "When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?"

Abbott: "Every dollar of it. And why not? The man's entitled to it."

Costello: "Who is?"

Abbott: "Yes!"

Costello: "So, who gets it?"

Abbott: "Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: "Whose wife?"

Abbott: "Yes!"

Costello: "Whoo!"

Abbott: "After all, the man earns it."

Costello: "Who does?"

Abbott: "Absolutely!"

Costello: "All I'm trying to find out is, what's the guy's name on first base?"

Abbott: "Oh no. No. What is on second base."

Costello: "I'm not asking you who's on second."

Abbott: "No. Who's on first."

Costello: "That's what I'm trying to find out."

Abbott: "Well, don't change the players around."

Costello: "I'm not changing nobody."

Abbott: "Take it easy."

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?"

Abbott: "What's the guys name on second base."

Costello: "I'm not askin' ya who's on second."

Abbott: "Who's on first."

Costello: "I don't know."

Abbott: "He's on third. We're not talking about him."

Costello: "How did I get on third base?"

Abbott: "You mentioned his name."

Costello: "If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?"

Abbott: "No. Who's playing first."

Costello: "Stay off of first,will you?"

Abbott: "Well, what do you want me to do?"

Costello: "Now, what's the guy's name on third base?"

Abbott: "What's on second.

Costello: "I'm not asking you who's on second."

Abbott: "Who's on first."

Costello: "I don' know."

Abbott: "He's on third."

Costello: "There I go. Back on third, again."

Abbott: "Well, I can't change their names."

Costello: "Will you please stay on third base, Mr. Broadhurst?"

Abbott: " Now what is it you want to know?"

Costello: "What is the fellow's name on third base?"

Abbott: "What is the fellow's name on second base."

Costello: "I'm not asking you who's on second."

Abbott: "Who's on first."

Costello: "I don't know."

Both: "Third base!"

Costello: "Whoo! You got a outfield?"

Abbott: "Oh sure."

Costello: "St. Louis has got a good outfield?"

Abbott: "Absolutely."

Costello: "The left fielder's name?"

Abbott: "Why."

Costello: "I don't know. I just thought I'd ask."

Abbott: "Well, I just thought I'd tell you."

Costello: "Then tell me, who's playing left field?"

Abbott: "Who is playing first."

Costello: "Stay out of the infield."

Abbott: "Don't mention any names out here."

Costello: "I want to know, what's the fellow's name on left field?"

Abbott: "What is on second."

Costello: "I'm not asking you who's on second."

Abbott: "Who is on first."

Costello: "I don't know."

Both: "Third base!"

Costello: (whining)

Abbott: Hey, take it easy. Take it easy, man."

Costello: "And the left fielder's name?"

Abbott: "Why."

Costello: "Because!"

Abbott: "Oh, he's center field.Will you pick up your hat please? Pick up your hat and stop this--"

Costello: "Mr. Broadhurst."

Abbott: "Yes?"

Costello: You got a pitcher on the team?"

Abbott: "Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher?"

Costello: "I don't know. Tell me the pitcher's name."

Abbott: "Tomorrow."

Costello: "You don't want to tell me today?"

Abbott: "I'm telling you, man."

Costello: "Then go ahead."

Abbott: "Tomorrow."

Costello: "What time?"

Abbott "What time what?"

Costello: " What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitchin'?"

Abbott: "Now listen. Who is not pitching. Who is on--"

Costello: "I'll break your arm if you say who's on first."

Abbott: "Then why did you ask me?"

Costello: "I wanna know what's the pitcher's name?"

Abbott: "What's on second."

Costello: "I don't know."

Both: "Third Base."

Costello: "You got a catcher?"

Abbott: "Yes!"

Costello: "The catcher's name?"

Abbott: "Today."

Costello: "Today! And Tomorrow's pitching?"

Abbott: "Now you've got it."

Costello: "That's all, St. Louis has got a couple of days on the team