Are you interested in people? — Page 3

bkev said:

I think I have a lot to say on this but I haven't quite had the time to consider it yet. Expect an answer from me in due time.

bkev said:

Lots of things.

 

Yeah, sounds like a tinge of social anxiety, and I honestly think everyone has that to a degree, and it just depends on how they deal with it.

A lot of the loud, center-of-attention types have it, and so they deal with it by being loud and the center-of-attention to deal with it. A lot of people introvert instead, though, and that's how I am despite my "natural talent" with socializing; but it really comes down to how you deal with it.

To expand on my earlier post, which might sound contradictory but really does fit in with what I had said before; I certainly have my own social anxiety stuff; I do a lot of wandering eyes when I'm talking to someone if I'm not paying attention (I pass that off as being "situationally aware", though, since my head is always on a swivel anyway; ain't nobody gonna catch me off-guard!), and if I'm not thinking, I'll automatically go out of my way to avoid situations where I might have to talk to people/have certain types of interaction with them, be it talking on the phone (which I dislike), or possibly running into someone I know, or meeting new people, or talking to desk clerks and whatnot (there's probably more than that, but you get the gist); after thinking about it some,I realized that the thing is that I don't do it because I want to, or because I like it or whatever, I just do it on a subconscious level, because it's easier; I feel the pang of anxiety and suddenly my feet are moving in a different direction (literally or figuratively).

I do this thing, and this goes for basically every aspect of my life, where I overthink things and psych myself out; big exams, new experiences, interactions with people that I know are coming, et cetera. What I do, and what works for me (which means your mileage may vary) is that if I catch myself doing it, if I'm about to walk through a place and see someone I know, and feel that anxiety (what if they want to talk, what if I say something dumb, what if...) and recognize it, I force myself to keep going and "risk" that interaction.

I've found that talking to people is like learning anything that's difficult; for awhile you have to think about what you're doing until you're practised enough that it just happens. You gotta force yourself to make eye contact, to think about what you're saying, to make sure your arms aren't flailing about wildly until it just happens naturally. 

Eventually you come to the realization that about 90% of life is about forcing yourself to do stuff you don't want to do, or stuff that it would be easier to just ignore and not do, and eventually you realize that you start just doing it and it's not even a big deal anymore; humans are very adaptable.

Haha. I usually only give unsolicited advice that nobody really wanted.

Atsa fine!