bkev said:
I think I have a lot to say on this but I haven't quite had the time to consider it yet. Expect an answer from me in due time.
All right, bkev. L'eggo (my eggo.) Being in a bad mood is the right time to do this because it's about the only time I'll be honest with what are essentially strangers.
Of course I'm interested in people. I just suck at maintaining that interest. I don't think it's an attention span issue, but... I get bored very quickly. If I'm having dinner with friends or something, when I finish first and they're still sitting around chatting it makes me really nervous. With a lot of people, I have to be doing something with them for my interest/comfort to be maintained. Hiking, playing games, etc. You probably get the idea.
Casual conversation is fucking horrifying. I'm shit at it. Maybe a stranger wouldn't notice right off, but with my wandering eyes and frequent spaceman moments it's kind of an accomplishment if I pull it off. I do great in formal situations... with adults. People my age and me do not normally mix. I think it's a peer pressure thing - I'm not scared of what people older than me think (no offense intended.) I kind of expect a little judgment here and there simply based on the generation gap. Whenever I'm around someone my own age, though? I'm always on my toes. Everything is calculated... and when it's not, it significantly stands out.
Thing is I give up on communication rather quickly. My problem right now is that I'm sick of communication being a one-way street. You'd think that after one and a half years at college I wouldn't have to be the one who always *conveniently* runs into his friends at the right time. I never hear from people here - something at least I know happens at home. It's a two fucking way street! Issue is, I don't really try to earn that luxury. I just assume people are as interested in me off the bat as I might be in them, whether it's on a romantic level or not. The same goes for how often I hear from people - when it's nonexistent, I brush them off. Even if, like right now, it turns out much for the worse.
Aw hell. THis is just a personal rant and not an answer to the question isn't it?
tl;dr initially yes but it takes a lot for me to really connect