I used to live in Tucson and attended the UA. I wonder where they're putting the temple. I'll let them know you're yard is available :)
The architecture is clearly so we can commune with the paranormal. When we say, "The Church of Jesus Christ," we clearly mean Gozer ;)
I don't know about buying alcohol or about doing so in Utah, so...good luck! ;)
And Hal, what is your pain? Share it with me!