Thanks a bunch for the feedback Mrebo! Honestly I can see some flaws already (Darelda drops out of the action too much in the last third, Kwade and Phakerem's feel like they should be interacting with the protagonists more, and the decaying nature of the Republic seems more told than seen), but the fact I finished the whole thing was a big enough deal in and of itself.
Artoo and Threepio cameo is there for a fun shout out and because I really love the idea of those two off in their own adventures while the major story is occurring. I'm planning to have them appear briefly in the next two episodes both to have the audience wondering just what they're up to and to in a way have it so that if you were to watch the films in sequence, ANH feels like the droids finally getting their own story.
Really one of the most difficult parts in writing it was getting that good balance of fitting into the universe of Star Wars without feeling derivative of the original films. The references to various things (Kessel, Sand People, sabbac) is one of the key points, working as universe building for newcomers, and recognizable points for old fans.
In all honesty aspects of the plot do feel similar to ANH, but that's largely deliberate, to show the parallel between Anakin and Luke, demonstrating how alike and different they are. Plus to me the key thing is tone. Episode IV is triumphant with the plucky rebels finally gaining ground against the massive and cruel Empire.
Son of the Suns is designed to be profoundly bittersweet, especially the ending. Yes Anakin is on his way to being a Jedi and is involved with Carima, but Alderaan is damaged, the galaxy is going to war, there's a rift with Skywalker's only family and decline of the Republic is becoming apparent in obvious ways (senatorial problems, crime) as well as subtle ones (the possibility of Palpatine's election to Senate presidency). I know the key draw is a kick ass space adventure (hence the action bits), yet I also think the proverbial storm clouds need to seen in the distance.