I have been following this amazing thread for a while, but not having grown up watching Star Wars a million times, I haven't had anything to contribute until now. But as a recovering grammar nazi
'Recovering' eh? ...ho boy. (I only skimmed but I'm sure the comments were helpful.)
As for 'the GOUT', I always thought of that as an OT.com in-joke, e.g. referring to it as some kind of diseased version - e.g. referencing the now-archaic way of referring to maladies with a definite article. As in, 'the influenza', 'the polio', 'the consumption', 'the grep'. (And I'd be shocked if nobody ever said 'the gout'!) It's a convention of these boards by now, and saying it without 'the' is by now awkward...