The bit where Palpatine tells us what happened in act one needs to go too.

One assumes that Mace has already been briefed and we don't need to be.

I'd keep the bit about Grievous getting away again though (he would naturally moan about it and as a politician would want to be seen to be getting the job finished by leaning on the right people).

I'd drop Anakin using one of Han's lines. Probably the trembling reference. It just sounds too much like Star Wars quotes the greatest hits to have two right next to each other.

The music doesn't quite fit for the Grievous scene.

For one thing it's so obviously from a prominent OT scene that it's distracting.

The tone is right though if you can find something similar.

I'd remove the choral blasts though they are too push button.

Add instead a metallic thump (maybe like the percussive steps of the powerloaders from Aliens) in time with each footfall of the general.

Why not have Sidious tell the General that Lord Vader will soon join them?

He would already have the name in his head and he is a counting his chickens before they've hatched sort of guy as we find out in ROTJ.

You might be able to generate some sort of interest out of speculating who this Vader chap is going to be.