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Post #577434

Author
CWBorne
Parent topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/577434/action/topic#577434
Date created
13-May-2012, 1:50 AM

Finally got some continued work on this done, though its been tricky as act 2 has been the least developed before I started working on the treatment.


Cut to the alley on Nar Shadda as before where the same masked attacker holds the data cube and looks over the dead Twi’lek, before placing the device in their coat and walking off.

Cut to a vast and intricate ship yard where various numerous vessels, large and small are having their finishing touches put on. Kwade looks on from a set of quarters, clearly pleased at the progress. Bracett walks in and Draezin observes “Incredible works aren’t they, even if these warrior types of no sense of style.” She smirks and says what they lack in aesthetics they’ll make up for in results and best of all they get to watch.

Focusing on the business at hand she says that his guest just arrived and he has her send him in. An enthused Bothan walks in and it’s clear he and Kwade are familiar, with the former describing that all the various procedures on planet have been taken care of and that all their associates are in place. With some clear satisfaction he says their “competitors” will be more inclined to negotiate soon enough. He also reveals that someone’s already been dispatched for their Senator problem.

The pirate is pleased by the news, his mood slightly shifting when the guest starts going into detail about how’s he already taken the initiative to personally manage operations on the planet himself given that Kwade and his partners will be busy overseeing much bigger plans after Nar Shadda. The alien emphasizes that he knows this is a surprise, but that with his connections, he’ll be better than anyone else in the position.

There is a bit of a pause as the human considers his words. Eventually Draezin laughs and it’s just like him to worm his way into a position when the galaxy is on the verge of being turned upside down, but points out that he’s right and that the planet will need someone of experience and talents. He suggests the Bothan retrieve his specific data for the proposal, and when the former turns around to leave so, a blaster comes out of Kwade’s sleeve which he then fires.

After a flash, the alien lies dead on the floor. Hearing the noise, Bracett comes in, casually notices the sudden corpse, and without a beat says she’ll get someone to clean up. The Chiss remarks that she had heard this one was thought of as fairly loyal and harmless enough. Kwade actually agrees, “Yes and now he’ll stay that way.” He heads off, briefly telling her to inform him once they have an update on Organa’s status and he’ll need the Dynasty ready as there’s only one bit of business left before the fleet is launched.

Cut to the spice freighter in hyperspace. Inside Anakin and Carima sit at the cockpit. Clearly inpatient she wonders aloud how long a Jedi debriefing is supposed to take. He replies that Ben’s getting valuable information and asks what the problem is. When Niwir responds that the wait’s making her nervous, with a slight grin he points out that she didn’t seem so nervous when staring at 81.

That brings about a flustered reaction with her defending that its not often one gets to see a top of the line Republic Security model, and that if Skywalker realized the amount of junk droids she’s had to work with over the years, he’d understand that. Carima continues that one way he can compensate her for the stolen ship is ensuring in the future she isn’t working with scrap so worthless Jawas wouldn’t take it.

He emphasizes that when this is all over she’ll have the freighter, plenty of credits, and won’t ever have to deal with him again. That last bit bothers her a bit, though all she says openly is it figures that he’s cause her this much grief and make her find a new pilot too. He shrugs and says Mos Eisley’s crawling with pilots. In a low voice, not entirely noticed by Anakin she says “Not good ones.”

Kenobi and 81 emerge, the former looking particularly serious. He says they should be close to the planet by now, which is confirmed. The droid says that Kwayde’s been using the planet for years and they’ll need to be extraordinarily careful, which Anakin agrees with saying he’s heard stories about Draezin’s fleet. “Now it’s gotten past just a few missing ships” adds Obi-Wan. “If he’s attacking Republic agents, he’ll do anything.”

They come out of hyperspace and there some tension as they’re worried about the possibility of another sneak attack. Calmly feeling for presences in the system, Kenobi says he doesn’t sense anything hidden at the moment, with HX saying to forgive him, but he wished they had more than a single Jedi’s intuition. Anakin says a spice freighter at a busy center like Nar Shadda’s hardly out of ordinary. “If only I could say the same thing about our cargo” says Carima. .

However, the ship is contacted by planetary security forces, asking about the nature of their business on the planet. Kenobi is confused but Anakin quietly suggest it’s probably a test to ensure, making sure anyone on the up and up isn’t trying to land. Skywalker answers that they’re just getting supplies and little more, but is asked what his clearance code is. This causes some slight dread as while 81 brings up his memory bank of different trading ciphers, Anakin says they’ll need a specific one.

Before they can continue Carima speaks up, stating their clearance number as 6-18-67 and calling their stop as a basic pick-up job. There’s a brief pause and they’re cleared to land. They all stare at her with Anakin pointing out at some point she’s apparently acquired smuggler codes for place like this. She shrugs, a bit defensive. “What? It never hurts to be prepared.”

The ship lands at a spaceport just outside the city. Kenobi and 81 step out immediately, and Anakin indicates he’ll be going as well, specifically stating that they’ll need help in locating the senator while keeping a low profile. Before walking out he asks with Carima if she’s coming along. She giving an annoyed pout and packs along another blaster, stating that she will be along to make sure they get back.

Skywalker questions if she’s worried they’ll take off without her, but Niwir rolls her eyes and replies that it’s more likely they’ll get themselves blasted by a drunken Sabbac player and that she can’t get compensated by dead men. “Besides maybe I can actually find some quality droids here” she adds, which gets a grin by Anakin.

The four of them get into a lift device, a clear transport hanging and moving along a long track. They get a much more detailed look at the city which appears particularly garish and gaudy with colorful lights, loads of noise, and various crowds of pedestrians mulling about everywhere. There’s a clear contrast in the quality and upkeep of buildings with some in decay and others remarkably pristine. All throughout the metropolis there’s a consistently subtle hint of grime over everything.

81 notes it’s not exactly Coruscant, and Carima asks how they’re supposed to find Organa in the middle of all this. Activating a device on his arm, HX explains that Darelda should be carrying a transmitter with a specific senatorial code, one that can only be picked up by Republic equipment. “Unless these types on Nar Shadda have already figured out a way to crack it” Anakin interjects, but the droid mentions in his experience even the best smugglers only typically unlock things they think to look for.

“Their need for creativity rarely ever surpasses their immediate desire for money.”

Recalling recent events Kenobi softly says that they’ll need to be open to any clues they find regardless; they’re no longer dealing with run of the mill criminals and they might have much worse problems than that. Anakin asks what. Obi-Wan looks around, including the night sky. “For one? Time”.

Cut to a darkened section of a room where both Kwayde and Bracett stand observing something off screen, with the former mostly expressionless and the second a touch intrigued. She casually mentions that one of their scout ships has yet to return from around Tatooine, but the pirate replies that one missing vessel is of little importance at the moment.

Camera pulls out to reveal they are watching General Phakarem on a small, but raised platform in the middle of a vast hall making a speech. The General goes on about the countless centuries of sacrifice they have made, and that systems everywhere have grown weak, the citizens have become tired, and their officials are no longer fit to lead. Throughout the speech, small peeks are seen of her audience.

She refers to the fact that even the Jedi no longer have the spark to be warriors or the will to preserve the pitiful galactic bureaucracy which earns a raised eyebrow by Draezin. Phakerem loudly bellows that they stand upon the precipice of history and that the future is in their hands, ready to mold. She finishes the address with a summation that few can dream of shaping the destinies of others, but their actions today will determine the fate of all for years to come.

Camera swoops around to completely reveal large rows of armed Mandalorian soldiers, all dressed in various colored uniforms including helmets. Quick cuts also show the speech being watched by other large sets of shocktroopers on different ships in the fleet. In response to the general’s words they yell defiantly, raise their gauntleted hands, and salute.

Bracett and Draezin lightly applaud. Her speech concluded, Phakerem sees the two of them who tell her that the upgrades are finished, the people are in place, and that unless she has anything else; they are ready. For the first time, a smile is seen on her face as she gives a single order: “Get the fleet into hyperspace. So goes Nar Shadda, so goes the Republic.”

Cut back to the streets of the city where the foursome casually walks through the markets. 81 keeps his gaze forward, while Carima and Anakin check out various knick-knacks being sold by the various shops. Kenobi remains casually alert, trying to detect anything out of the ordinary. Skywalker comments on the selection of goods with all the effort apparently going to variety not quality and Niwir reasons that even on a place like this the best stuff is probably isn’t being sold out in the open.

Obi-Wan asks if 81’s got a lock on the Senator, but he clarifies that while he can get a general direction of the signal there’s too much interference from other transmissions to pin her location down at the moment. The Jedi tells him to keep on it and let them know if any communications out of the ordinary occur. Letting out something resembling a sigh, HX says from what he’s already overheard, it would seem ordinary escaped this place as fast as it could.

Kenobi takes a quick look around offhandedly saying they’re getting some looks and all should spread out. They understand and separate, with Carima heading off a bit in her own direction, with the security droid doing the same. The Jedi and future apprentice stay together. A shady looking peddler walks up and deviously comments on Obi-Wan’s hanging lightsaber, saying he doesn’t quite recognize the design, is curious where he got it, and that he’s sure many would be interested in finding out.

The Jedi gives a small smile, and comments that it’s a small trinket he bought at a nearby shop. Not buying it, the peddler asks him which store, only for the older man to wave his hand and say the line about the trinket again, which the peddler repeats with no emotion. Obi-Wan tells him he needs to get back to his important customers, which the peddler also repeats. As the shopkeeper walks off an impressed Skywalker observes “All that with just the Force.” The knight wry observes that not all will be so easily swayed.

As Skywalker looks around the city amazed, the older man glances at Anakin, smirks, and comments on his expression. “You can’t believe you’re here can you?” He admits to Ben that it’s not quite where he thought he’d be a week ago. Obi-Wan tells him he’s adjusted well considering. Skywalker enjoys the compliment, but then frowns. The master notices his look and asks if he senses something, and Skywalker states its something else.

He says he’d always understood the Republic looks after everybody, yet there are places like Nar Shadda where there is no protection and where men like Kwade become powerful. He wonders how much worse it’d be if the Jedi weren’t in place. Kenobi takes in Anakin’s words and admits that care in the Outer Rim has seen better days, however there’s always potential for change in the galaxy. Being a Jedi means having faith in the people of the Republic and the Force. Anakin understands, but a hint of indecision lingers.

By herself Niwir examines some small worker droids only to get bumped in to by a thin, lanky gold droid who in a slightly fussy tone apologizes to her. She is a bit confused, commenting that it’s unusual for a protocol droid to be wandering around by itself. The droid quickly enlightens her that he’s not alone and is in fact with his counterpart, but he looks around and can’t immediately find him. “Oh, this is just like him” he mutters.

He begins to introduce himself, but is cut off by Carima who asks if he and/or his counterpart are for sale. To her disappointment, the golden droid says they’re not. Trying to explain, the protocol unit mentions that they’re supposed to be with their master, but that they haven’t seen him since he heard Republic parts were being sold and ran off. This gets her immediate attention and she asks where he headed off too. Surprised by the question he briefly stutters and points to a building in the distance.

After getting the direction she quickly heads off without a word, leaving the lanky droid awkwardly standing there. A domed blue and white droid then wheels up to him and lets out a few chirps. “No I wasn’t being chatty, I was being polite, humans like that you know.” The smaller droid beeps out again sounding annoyed, and the taller one scoffs. “You Artoo units just don’t understand the value of good conversation.”

81 walks up to Anakin and Obi-Wan, and when asked about his progress, replies that between being offered incompatible upgrades, mistaken for a cleaning unit, and asked three times if his restraining bolt was missing, he could only narrow down Darelda’s signal somewhat. Skywalker begins to ask how much longer it’ll take, but Carima walks up and says that parts of a Republic ship are apparently being sold here.

This causes momentary alarm, but Kenobi calmly tells them that they can’t jump to any conclusions until they can confirm it was her ship. Anakin volunteers to check it out by himself. Carima interjects and says she’ll be with him as they need someone who actually knows how to look for parts. Skywalker rolls his eyes and comments “Buy the wrong set of power converters one time and you pay for it the rest of your life.” Obi-Wan tells them to be careful and says he and 81 will try and locate the Senator’s signal.

Noticing the droid’s look Kenobi says they’ll be fine and HX replies “Oh I have no doubts, a couple of backwater visitors to the paradise of smugglers and pirates. What could be better?”

More to come…