Ok, I began checking your Empire subs.
Where Luke says:
"Steady."
"Hey, steady girl."
"Hey, what’s the matter?"
You went with:
"Steady, girl. What’s the matter?"
and I actually think that's enough.
"Well, the bounty hunter we ran into
in Ord Mantell changed my mind."
I'm not sure about this one, but it could be:
"Well, the bounty hunter we ran into
on Ord Mantell changed my mind."
"– I don’t know what you’re talking about."
"– You probably don’t."
I have always heard it like Han says:
"You probably do."
The character of Han and the context of the scene makes both work, Leia's following line is as we all know:
"And what precisely am I supposed to know?"
I think the script have it your way.
Between these two lines:
77
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,894
Your tauntaun will freeze
before you reach the first marker.
78
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:18,095
Then I’ll see you in hell!
You can include this gibberish if you like:
<i>I’ll cover sector twelve.</i>
<i>Have com-control set screen alpha.</i>
It's barely audible, just thought I would mention it.
"You look strong enough
to pull the ears off a gundark."
could be:
"In fact, you look strong enough
to pull the ears off a Gundark."
I'm not sure, but I think it was scripted that way.
"Picked up something outside
the base’s Zone 12 moving east."
could be:
"We've picked up something outside
the base in zone twelve moving east."
not sure.
156
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,199
– If we followed up every lead—
– But sir, the Hoth system...
157
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,269
– ...is supposed to be devoid of humans.
– You’ve found something?
The line is:
"But, sir, the Hoth system
is supposed to be devoid of human forms."
168
00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:32,416
Oh! Turn it off!
Turn it off!
you can add just an Off! at the end there if you like. ;)
Will post the rest of my findings tomorrow Catbus, hope that's ok, it's gettin late here... I checked SW again and it seems perfectly fine to me. Also, let me know if I'm too pedantic when checking your subs and should really only look for typos.
Just a question, what looks more natural for you guys who have English as their first language, Star Destroyers or Stardestroyers, Sand People or Sandpeople? This was a minor thing I asked myself when doing my english subs, to see the words together was more common back in the day, you rarely see them typed like that anymore.