Obviously its early in the draft, so I'm sure you have much more planned, yet I will say to be careful in regards to what's be revealed and when. If there's more plot twists and turns fine, but if not that much you may wish to consider spreading out the information revealed at bit more broadly than just the first 35 pages.

The Dark Jedi thing for example could very well be something that Kenobi reveals later. Its a tricky balance of course, as you're trying to keep the audience intrigued about this universe but not confused as to what's going on. Again, this may not even be a valid complaint depending on what you have planned.

Also it doesn't hurt to be specific in giving characterization to the clones. The multiple types is a good touch, and ship design is a a good visual shorthand, but an audience might be expecting notable/unique about them. The design of the Stormtroopers and the look of Vader immediately got the audience interested in ANH. Something to remember.