I overheard the cap’n talking to a "land-lubber." The land-lubber noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, our cap’n had a peg leg, a hook hand and a patch over his eye. The land-lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He asked him, "How did you lose your leg?"

So the cap'n told him, "I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!"

But the lan-lubber was still curious so he asked, "What about you hand. Did you lose it at the same time?"

"No," answered the cap’n. "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys."

Finally, the land-lubber asked, "I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you lose your eye?

Our good ol’ cap’n answered, "I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and pooped right in me eye."

The land-lubber said, “I didn’t know a little seagull poop could make you lose your eye?"

Well, the cap’n snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook!"